and they’re willing to try. But then you have a
whole bunch of wounded people who are trying
to lift each other up. And I could see that in this
particular project, including myself and my wife
– we definitely lacked the skill set to do that.”
Noelle suspects that being well funded could
help such a project overcome this issue by
allowing participants the security to work out
their differences. “When you’re just in survival
mode you get defensive, feeling like someone
else’s needs may encroach on your own.”
or touch or smell. And believe it or not, we
adults need this too. There is no virtual substitute for the connection one feels when one’s eyes
meet another’s, or the sensation of a warm slice
of homemade bread passing from one hand to
another, or the volumes spoken in minute variations in a loved one’s smile.
Seeking Your Own Tribe
Cronin, Noelle, and Pitman all offer excellent
suggestions for developing the kind of comfort
with ourselves and others that appears to be a
prerequisite for a Continuum lifestyle.
Given this experience and others, it seems that
this elusive tribal experience is not something to
be sought as a goal, but something experienced • Be honest about your feelings and needs,
both to yourself and to others - if your chilnaturally when people come together without
dren just aren’t up to participating in a play
goals or expectations, simply in the enjoyment
date on a particular day, it’s better to stay
of being together.
home than to force the issue.
• Remember to breathe – you won’t connect
well with others until you are comfortable
and relaxed in your own space.
Many people these days are spending increasing amounts of time and energy on the Internet • Reconnect with the natural world – even if
you live in a city, just going for a walk and
in hopes of connecting to like-minded souls.
passing a tree is connecting and centering.
Without denigrating the very real value many
• Spend a lot of time together.
find in their online relationships (this author
• Choose options that lead to partnership
included), it’s important to note that virtual
rather than separation and control.
reality is in many ways antithetical to a
• Be open to relationships with people who are
Continuum experience.
in different stages of parenthood or life, or
What about the Internet?
The Continuum concept is about more than
the sequence of human development. It’s about
the continuum of humanity across many lifespans, and the play of matter and consciousness
amongst and between humans, other species,
Mother Earth, and the universe itself.
whose habits or beliefs differ from yours.
• Focus more strongly on how you’re connected
with people than on how you’re different.
• Unplug.
Above all, be open about the outcome. Allow
your tribe to grow organically, from the inside
out. Forget about your goals and focus instead
Children, especially, need to experience the
on just the experience of being, right here and
world holistically through their senses – the
right now, with those you happen to be with
real world with all their senses, not just a pared- at the moment. The destination is the journey
down wired-up virtual semblance with no taste itself.
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