Beyond Babywearing Part 2
older, but you know, it worked out,” commented
one young mother who spent a year living with
her parents while she and her husband saved up
for a home of their own. Other parents report
increased feelings of security, carpooling and
other shared duties made easier, built-in
babysitters, and family bonding as benefits of
living with or near family members.
She also cautions not to be too picky about
whom you form your tribe with. Just like family, the people you find available may have some
qualities that differ from your ideals. That’s ok;
as long as you can respect each other’s choices
and beliefs there’s no reason you can’t form a
deep and lasting relationship.
But for the majority of us, living near family is
just not an option. What then?
Homeschooling
Creating Your Own Tribe
Teresa Pitman’s classic article, Finding Your
Tribe offers one solution. First published in
2000, it has been republished many times since,
inspiring parents all over the world to create modern “tribal” relationships with friends
and neighbors. It the article, Pitman describes
her relationship with her friend Vicki. Starting when their first babies were infants, the two
would get together and help each other with
household chores or prepare meals for both
families to enjoy, while their kids had the
benefit of unstructured play time with adults
who remained in close proximity, but engaged
in their own adult activities. It wasn’t until she
read Liedloff ’s book that Pitman realized she
and Vicki had unconsciously created their own
little tribal community.
It’s very common for parents of young children to get together frequently, and often these
relationships result in lasting bonds between
families. However, once the children reach
school age, time spent together in this way often
diminishes. Homeschooling families have a
unique advantage in this regard. They are also
better able to respond to children’s natural
developmental patterns, and more likely to have
the opportunity to interact with children of a
larger age range than their schooled counterparts–
an important aspect of Continuum ideals. In situations where homeschooling occurs between
and around running a home-based business,
children also get to observe and learn first-hand
how the adult world operates in a way that was
once a normal part of growing up, but is now is
no longer available to the vast majority of modern children.
That said, many homeschoolers still find their
lives increasingly dominated by schedules and
goals, especially as children grow older. If a
tribal experience is truly your ideal, you might
find yourself drawn to at least partial unschooling.
Pitman points out that tribe building involves
much more than just scheduling regular playdates. You have to spend a lot of time together,
and it’s important that it not just be all “visiting time.” Work together. Clean house, work on
your car, do projects together, garden, prepare
meals, or start a business together. Take care of
the children’s needs as they need you; otherwise, let them alone to observe how you’re going If homeschooling is not an option for your family’s situation, what then?
about your tasks – or not, as they please.
The School Conundrum
24