Karen La Corte
manners MATTER
Karen La Corte is an etiquette and manners expert trained and
certified by the Emily Post Institute in Vermont. Karen is happy to
answer your questions — email her at [email protected]
Wedding Etiquette
Y
ou are engaged!
Congratulations! Weddings
are happy occasions that
involve not just the Bride
and Groom, but the wedding party,
family and invited guests. Your wedding
can be as big, small, formal or simple
as you choose. The better your event
planning and organizing are, the less
stressful and more enjoyable and
memorable your wedding will be
for everyone.
First, you need a budget. Figure out
where your funds are coming from and
how much you have to work with, and
stick to your budget!
Securing a venue is next. Churches,
event halls and wineries tend to book
up a year in advance. Their availability
will impact the date you choose for
your wedding. Be prepared to make a
deposit to reserve your space. Make a
guest list. Know how many guests you
can afford to invite based on estimated
cost of cuisine and beverages. Some
venues are all-inclusive with food,
beverages, cake, and flowers as well
as facility rental. Other venues let you
bring in your own caterer and other
services.
Choose a florist. Floral centerpieces,
bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, and
floral arrangements for the church or
ceremony can be pricey. Shop around
for the look you want and remember
your budget.
Looking for wedding cake options?
A small cake for bride and groom
to cut at the reception, while a
photographer takes pictures, may be
the answer. Affordable sheet cakes can
be custom-ordered, pre-cut and boxed
up by your neighborhood grocery store
with a bakery.
Pies, mini tarts, cookies, and other
desserts provide a delicious and
affordable alternative. If your venue
prohibits use of outside services, let their
chef or caterer know your preferences
and review their recommendations.
For music, consider a DJ or a
live band. Check for booking fees
and availability. When choosing a
photographer and/or videographer,
hire a professional rather than asking
Uncle Bill to capture one of the most
important days of your life.
Some couples send out “Save the
Date” cards well in advance, but
your wedding invitation is what’s
most important. Its style, font, and
wording should reflect who you are
and your wedding theme. Depending
on budget, you can use online ven-
dors or traditional stationery stores
offering design services. Mail invitations
about eight weeks before the wedding.
Enclose a response card with a deadline
to RSVP. Make a wishlist of bridesmaids
and groomsmen. Give them a call or
invite them to lunch or dinner and ask
them to be part of your wedding party.
Texting or emailing is not the way to
ask. Flower girls and ring bearers
are optional.
Now the hunt is on for the wedding
gown. Budget, budget, budget here!!!
Tuxedos or more casual wear such as
linen for a beach wedding is decided on.
Color schemes for bridal parties are cho-
sen. Remember the mothers, grandmoth-
ers, fathers and grandfathers want to
feel special on this day as well. Clothing
alterations, hairstyling and makeup
should all be included in the budget.
Hire a professional wedding planner,
or recruit someone you know and trust
who can serve as coordinator for your
big day so you can de-stress and enjoy
a snafu-free event.
Now’s the time to enjoy bridal
showers, and bachelorette or bachelor
parties. A couple of months before the
wedding you need to check in again
GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN
june/july 2019
with vendors. Consider ordering a
party favor for your guests if desired.
Guests at the wedding should dress
tastefully. Weddings are not the place
to push the fashion envelope, drink too
much, or act inappropriately. Respect
the bride, groom and their parents by
being a model guest. This is their day,
not yours!
With today’s online bridal registries,
you can order a gift and have it shipped
to the bride; or choose something
on your own. Some couples include
honeymoon activities on the registry
too. Rule of thumb—purchase a gift of
equal value to the price per plate at the
reception. Money is always welcome.
Keep in mind what you can afford.
The Bride and Groom need to
choose a honeymoon they can afford.
Many couples are postponing the
honeymoon of their dreams until they
have the time and money to fully
enjoy it.
For the rehearsal dinner, barbeques,
luncheons and cocktail parties are as
popular as the traditional dinner. The
groom’s family usually pays for this
but if the wedding budget is split, the
rehearsal dinner is too. Traditionally,
a small gift of thanks is given to the
wedding party. Thank everyone who
assists in your planning process.
Brides and grooms, make sure you
send personalized thank you notes for
your wedding gifts in a timely manner.
This is the tip of the iceberg when it
comes to wedding etiquette. I welcome
your questions on this subject. If you
have one take-away from this reading,
remember to be respectful and gracious
throughout your planning and your
event. It is an exciting time for every-
one. There is no room for bridezilla,
or the unappreciative guest. Manners,
kindness and thankfulness are always
in style!
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