Kids Want to Be Loved , Not Exploited
Written by Beth Edmonds
In 2015 , former Britton Middle School Principal Glen Webb invited Beth Edmonds to conduct a prevention training for the entire school . Webb recognized the program for raising student awareness of warning signs and revealing tactics used by sexual predators , and for providing practical directions on what to do if someone tried to exploit them or other students . The program included staff and parent previews . “ The video and discussion literally had the students ’ complete focus and attention ,” Webb said . “ They had an innate recognition that this issue is real … the information provided to students was crucial to advancing their safety .”
As I write this article on a rainy Sunday afternoon , I ’ m listening to my daughter play “ I Can ’ t Make You Love Me ” on the piano . I can ’ t help but relate that song title to one of the most pressing social issues we parents and grandparents face today — protecting our kids from unhealthy , unloving relationships .
The need to be loved and to belong is on the third tier of Maslow ’ s Hierarchy of Needs that motivate human behavior . Only our most basic needs for sustenance and safety take precedence . From the moment we are born , we have a deep desire to connect with others in loving relationships based on trust . First , with our parents , other caregivers and extended family , then our circle widens to include teachers , schoolmates , and so on .
When Kids Look for Love Online
But what happens when our kids put their trust in the Internet and social media to widen their circle of connections and to find acceptance and love ? While digital technology is a key enabler of 21st century education , there is a dark side to the Internet where people aren ’ t always who they represent themselves to be and “ relationships ” can turn abusive . Kids may encounter this on Facebook and other social networks , but they can also be victimized by people who use online marketplaces to buy and sell sex — all too often , the demand is for minors under the age of 18 . This is a form of human trafficking , also known as modern-day slavery , and it is a federal crime punishable by imprisonment .
Some years ago , this issue touched my heart . I wanted to protect my own kids from becoming victims , either directly or indirectly , of human trafficking . I began to volunteer with Community Solutions of Santa Clara County , a non-profit human services agency , in the Solutions to Violence Department , focusing on victims of Domestic Violence , Sexual Assault , and Human Trafficking . I also became a volunteer and took a training with Shared Hope International ( SHI ), a non-profit dedicated to bringing an end to sex trafficking of minors in the U . S .
Since completing the SHI training , I have had the opportunity to provide trafficking prevention education to local schools as well as community and faith-based organizations . This has included programs at Britton Middle School , Live Oak High School , Gilroy United Methodist
Church , and a Morgan Hill Library event co-hosted by Community Solutions and the South Bay Coalition to End Human Trafficking . I look forward to providing more of these programs in 2017 .
Know the Red Flags
Traffickers use cyberspace to engage kids in seemingly friendly or romantic relationships . They target vulnerable kids by watching their online behavior . To help safeguard our kids , we need to know the red flags that indicate they are being “ courted ” or controlled by a trafficker . By engaging our middle and high school kids in conversation , they can learn about the red flags and how to protect themselves , and they can share their feelings and experiences too .
Traffickers look for minors on social networks , in their neighborhoods and at school , and lure them with promises of protection , love , adventure , a home . At some point the charade is over . The trafficker starts making demands , and if needed , uses lies , intimidation , threats and violence to control or coerce kids to do his bidding . Traffickers primarily target kids 14-16 years of age — old enough to have some independence , young enough to be naïve to what ’ s happening .
Look for signs of physical abuse such as burn marks , bruises or cuts ; unexplained absences from school ; a sudden shift to a less appropriate style of dress ; sexualized behavior ; an atypical pattern of being withdrawn , depressed , distracted , or overly tired in class ; bragging about making or having lots of money ; showing off expensive clothes , accessories , shoes , or a new tattoo ( one way traffickers lay claim to their victims ); an older boyfriend or new friends with a divergent lifestyle ; posting or texting about wild parties ; or showing signs of gang affiliation .
Turn to Trusted Resources
If you feel someone you know is being trafficked , please call 911 if it ’ s an emergency . To get help or report a tip , call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1 ( 888 ) 373-7888 or Text “ BeFree ” ( 233733 ); or contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST . To learn more about the services provided by Community Solutions and Shared Hope International , visit communitysolutions . org and sharedhope . org .
Our kids need to be loved and to belong , but their need should never be exploited . We need to work together to keep trafficking out of our community and help our kids to be safe .
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GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2017 gmhtoday . com