Shyness … for goodness sake
Every child has bashful moments from time to time . Some kids , however , are naturally shy . Parents often wonder what to do about their child ’ s shyness . Should they let their children be shy or should they try to “ bring them out ”? The good news is there is absolutely nothing wrong with being shy . In fact , there are a lot of great things that come from shyness . Depending partly on how it ’ s handled , shyness can either be a help or a handicap to children .
The Virtues of Shyness
Many people who don ’ t understand shyness interpret it as a problem . They think that a shy
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Children who are shy tend to be self-reliant Tues- we leave , in the morning thoughtful , and empathetic . They have such a strong sense of inner peace that they may be reluctant to immediately share that with strangers . Although they might be slow to warm up to people , once they do they are charming and nice to be around . They have a deep sense of caring and many valuable insights to share .
How Shy is Too Shy ?
Sometimes shyness may be a result of negative experiences and inner turmoil . In an effort to ward off attacks on a shaky self-image , these children will completely withdraw from social settings . They tend to avoid eye contact and have a lot of behavioral problems . Often , these children are operating from a place of anger and fear instead of peace and trust . If you look beyond the behavior , you ’ ll usually find that they have a lot to be angry about .
In order to hide a self that they don ’ t like , some children will use the “ shy ” label as a shield . They retreat into a protective shell and use their “ shy ” label as a reason why they are not developing social skills and exercising them . For these children , shyness is a handicap that reinforces their weak self-esteem . These children especially need parents they can trust , who discipline in a way that does not lead to internalized anger and self-dislike . It is important to get behind the eyes and into the mind of your child . Things might look very different from that perspective . The more you empathize with your child and help her feel good about herself , the more her self-esteem will grow .
Sudden Bouts of Shyness
Sometimes a child may become shy practically overnight and his parents are left wondering what they ’ ve done wrong . Typically , if this happens between the years of two and four there ’ s probably nothing to worry about . Children at this age tend to go through a second phase of stranger social anxiety and they become afraid of people they don ’ t know .
How to Help Your Child
While it is tempting to want to help the shy child , it ’ s important to let her approach situations at her own pace . A child can ’ t be pulled out of shyness , and often efforts to bring them out will cause them to recoil even further . Instead , create a comfortable environment that lets your child ’ s social personality develop naturally . One of the best things you can do is to avoid labeling your child as “ shy ”, especially in front of her . Your child may think the term means that there ’ s something wrong with her and this will make her feel even more shy . Instead , use nicer , more accurate terms to describe your child , like “ private ” or “ reserved ”.
Of course , the best thing you can do for your child is to give her lots of hugs and support . Although shy children may be slow to warm up to strangers and more cautious about social relationships , they are sensitive , deeply caring individuals with a lot of good things to give . The world will be a gentler place because of him or her .
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