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AGING
with an
Attitude
Life after the doctor says:
Your Parent Needs Help
W
e don’t think of the day we
will need to switch roles with
our parents and have to care
for them. We don’t envision a future when
our mom or dad can’t juggle priorities and
control their world at the same time. Then
one day it happens – the doctor says, “If
your parent wants to continue living at
home, they will need help to do so.” The
doctor’s lips are moving but you don’t hear
anything…the world has stopped. You’re
in denial. The doc says your superhero
can’t leap tall buildings anymore — you
just hadn’t noticed. Life after that moment
changes. If your parent is healthy, the
change is gradual. If there are major physical
or mental challenges to deal with, the
change can give you a whiplash. Breathe-—
there is help.
By Dorie U. Sugay
Dorie Sugay is the Executive Director
of Visiting Angels, a company that
provides living-assistance services to
seniors and adults-in-need who wish
to stay in their own home or receive
one-on-one care within a facility.
This article is for informational and
educational purposes only. It was
written independently of Visiting
Angels.
Tap In To Your Physician’s Wisdom
Ask your doctor about the following: 1)
What should you expect as far as a short
and long term prognosis of your parents
health and ability to function? 2) How
many hours of help you will need? 3) If
Mom can’t sleep through the night, will
the doctor be prescribing sleep aid? (This
will help you plan for night care). 4) What
can be done to help your parent slow down
the dependence meter—a regular exercise
regime with a physical therapist or senior
yoga at the Senior Center? 5) Should you
take the car keys away now? 6) Will they
need health aids (hospital bed, lift, etc.)? 7)
Can the hospital Case Manager guide you?
Start Gathering Information
Approach with caution – when an older
adult is told that he/she needs help, they
fear the worst. Many parents associate a
sibling’s inquiry into insurances, finances,
etc. as a precursors to putting them into a
home. Start with unthreatening questions
– ask about insurance or military papers
(if he/she is a Veteran). If you are lucky,
the papers are filed with the other impor-
tant documents you will eventually need.
Medicare won’t pay for home health care,
so you need to determine if they have long
term care insurance. A good way to find out
where other important papers are is to just
engage in social chat while they look for the
papers you are requesting.
Is Mom Or Dad A Veteran?
To get free home health care, call the Palo
Alto VA at (650) 493-5000 and ask for a
home health care consult with a physician
or call his/her VA physician. The process is
painless. The physician’s recommendation
to the social worker will get the wheels
turning. The approved care provider will be
asked to schedule a nurse assessment (in this
area, Visiting Angels is the only approved
provider). This process can take between
two to three weeks. Most people are initially
approved for two days a week at three hours
each visit, but can increase to five days
under special circumstances.
A Veteran can also tap their Aid and
Attendance benefit. These are funds that
can be used to add hours of home health
care or be used for any other health care
needs. The Veteran Care Services (VCS) in
Santa Clara County will help a Veteran tap
into their benefits for free (they are paid
by the County) and can be reached at
(408) 553-6000.
There are agencies that provide assistance
to veterans; help them navigate the system
— for a fee. You’ll want to do your home-
work and make sure the one you choose to
work with is reputable.
Although working with the VA directly
has been a bit trying in the past, they have
been revamping the processes. They have
made it easier to tap into benefits, however,
the jury is still out. VCS was trained by the
VA on these processes and are endorsed by
them. We highly suggest you include VCS
in your inquiry.
Get Information On Your Parent’s
Long Term Care Insurance
You cannot discuss a parent’s coverage
Remember – take a deep breath! You can do this…
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GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN
JULY / AUGUST 2015
gmhtoday.com