I was recently asked to speak to a group of
women at a screening of 50 Shades of Grey.
Now I appreciate it may seem strange to ask an
accountant to speak about money before a film
that is almost completely about sex. Perhaps
you’re thinking, I was the metaphorical bucket of
cold water.
It simply wasn’t talked about and nice girls
certainly didn’t want more of it. Thanks to Sex and
the City and other books and movies that dealt
with it irreverently and cleverly, somehow sex
became OK to talk about. Not just over cocktails
where you hoped you wouldn’t remember the
conversation in the morning, but over brunch.
Whatever the reason, I was so glad to be asked.
Sure you might not talk about it with your mum
but somehow the ick was removed from sex
because the shame was lifted simply by bringing
the subject out into the light of day and talking
about all of it: not just the polite parts.
Now it’s not because I wanted to watch 50
Shades of Grey. I haven’t read the book and
wouldn’t have watched the movie if left to my
own devices. That’s because I’d rather watch an
episode of Sex and the City and I suspected the
movie wasn’t really going to be up to scratch. The
reason I was so happy to be asked is because of
the connection between sex and money.
Once upon a time sex had an almighty ick factor.
Now women (and some blokes) are flocking to
the movies to watch a movie that is unashamedly
about sex.
I, for one, would love money to be given the same
treatment.
FIFTY SHAD
Now some might argue it already has. The Wolf
of Wall Street certainly idolised money and there
have been many books and movies before and
since where the making of money has been
lauded.
A few weeks ago I met with a potential client and
I think she beautifully described why we don’t talk
about money. Early in the meeting, it became
clear she felt she wasn’t in a great place financially
and was very embarrassed about it.
But what about the vulnerability associated with
money? What about the shame? What about the
ick factor that means we won’t ask a girlfriend
over lunch if she’s racking up a large credit card
bill because she seems to be doing a little too
much emotional spending at the moment? Or
we don’t ask a beloved relative whose husband
has passed away if she is going to be able to pay
the bills? Or we can’t talk about how we want
our business to net a profit of more than a million
dollars a year and be wealthy?
She said to me that she felt incredibly vulnerable
coming to see me and gave me a long
explanation before she even talked finances
about why that was. Eventually, just as she was
about to talk numbers, she said “I feel like I’m
about to get naked.”
That phrase encapsulates why I was so pleased
to be invited to speak before a movie about sex.
Because for the same reason that so many people
are leaving the lights off in the bedroom in order