GLOSS Issue 20 FEB 2015 - Page 80

IF YOU CARE ENOUGH TO RISK FAILURE, CHOOSE TO DO EXCEPTIONAL WORK. IF YOU CARE ENOUGH TO DO EXCEPTIONAL WORK, CHOOSE TO RISK FAILURE. This oft-repeated phrase might mean, “everything will turn out the way you want it to.” But it doesn’t. In fact, it never turns out that way. It actually means, “something will happen.” And whatever happens, you can figure out what to do with that. Because be defining what happens as “okay,” we open the door to accepting our work and our world and our quest to make things that matter. It’s all invented (but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real) A friend grew up with a severe phobia. He told me that one of the most hurtful things adults said to him (they meant well, no doubt) was, “it’s all in your head.” Just because it’s in your head doesn’t mean you’re not sick, in pain, unable to breathe. Most of all, we invent the constraints that prevent us from seeking freedom. We invent them. “ It will be okay. ” If these inventions aren’t working, if they’re making us sick or unhappy or ineffective, the question on the table is: why not invent something else? Why not invent different rules, different expectations, different ways of deciding what success is and what it’s not? Here’s how I know that there’s no correct set of inventions: We each have a different list. Each of us has different expectations, a different definition of fairness, and a different set of goals. And my set (and probably your set) is not the same as it was a month or a year or a decade ago. It changes. The paralyzing fear we feel in the face of freedom is in our head; that’s the only place it could be. It’s something we invented, just as we invent all the drama in our lives, all the attractions, connections, and meaning that we depend on. If each of us has a unique, invented worldview, and that worldview keeps changing, why not change it on purpose? Why not invent a way of being that’s actually eager (not just comfortable, but eager) to live with the duality of work/not work, to embrace the freedom of living in a world where we’re not controlling every outcome and not even sure about what’s going to happen next? Ben and Roz Zander talk about the game we play in creating narrative of our lives. We invent our expectations, o \