Chatting about death over a cup of tea
Focusing on our mortality is a good exercise for a better life
Giving some thought to the certainty that one
day we ’ ll no longer be here may be unsettling to many , but it can also trigger lots of positive resolutions .
A conducive place where beginners can put this idea to the test is a death cafe — a social gathering where strangers can drink tea , eat cake , and talk about death “ with a view to helping people make the most of their ( finite ) lives ,” as the organisers put it .
The free-of-charge events are run on a voluntary basis and have no fixed agenda . With an opendialogue format , they can take the form of a chit-chat about the existential implications of death awareness , like anxiety and feeling motivated to live to the fullest , or the more practical nitty-gritty of passing away , such as funeral and estate arrangements .
Inspired by the work of the Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz , the Death Cafe movement was launched in 2011 by Jon Underwood , who hosted the first event at his home in London as a way to lift the veil of secrecy around death .
With the little discussion that we do about death being outsourced to doctors , priests , and undertakers , many people have lost control of a key life experience we all have to contend with , he told the Guardian back in 2014 .
“ I believe that bringing death into consciousness , evolving our relationship with death , is one way of getting under the skin of the way we live ,” Underwood told Vice .
This approach has certainly struck a chord with many . Indeed , the movement has held almost 11,500 events across 73 countries since its inception .
One possible reason for its popularity is that death awareness may be a catalyst for a bunch of projects that give meaning to our fleeting existence .
Coming to terms with our mortality sometimes could mean that “ we start caring a lot about how we may have an impact on people around us . We want to do good science and have a lasting legacy that way or , if I have a lot of money , I will donate to a hospital , and if I don ’ t have money , I will study to be a doctor and impact people in that way ,” Dr Kenneth Vail , a professor of psychology at Cleveland State University who has done research about the impact of mortality awareness on daily life , told Global Health Asia- Pacific .
Shunning the idea of death can also have devastating practical implications .
Some research suggests that the fear of facing death can lead people to avoid health screenings or making wills or funeral arrangements , thus increasing the risk of serious health problems and creating complications for loved ones , explained Dr Vail , noting that advocacy for death awareness can help get over
the taboo of addressing these issues .
And the urgency of discussing end-of-life arrangements has been further ignited by the current coronavirus pandemic , with its painful images of COVID-19 victims passing away alone in medical facilities under quarantine to prevent the spread of the deadly disease .
“ People are realising that deaths during this pandemic won ’ t be what they might have envisaged or thought of as a so-called ‘ good death ’ – gently slipping away , surrounded by family and friends ,” Aly Dickinson , a death cafe host in Exeter , told the Guardian . “ So the conversations are about how death from Covid might look now – for example , people may decide they do not want to be hospitalised and receive invasive medical interventions or face restricted visiting from loved ones .”
Shunning the idea of death can also have devastating practical implications
GlobalHealthAndTravel . com NOVEMBER 2020
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