GirlGI | Girl Gone International GirlGI Issue 4 - Page 104

d Girl Gone International resident Clinical Psychologist Birgit tells us how to shake off the ‘I should haves’ and guilt. Birgit CASE STUDY Iris from Germany was travelling in Australia for 6 months, working in a bar as a waitress to make ends meet. With a Master’s degree in Commerce and Finance she often found herself wondering: “Jeez, why do I work in a bar? I should have stayed at home and worked on my career in finance instead. All my friends back home will be more successful than me.” Buying into these thoughts made her feel very unaccomplished, her mood was low, she felt dissatisfied and sometimes even guilty. STEP 1 | I asked her “What does working in a bar mean to you?” Her answer was, “It doesn’t mean anything to me. But, I need money to travel.” STEP 2 | “So what does it mean to you that you need money to travel?” She replied, “Well, I love travelling. I want to see as much of Australia as I can. So I need money.” STEP 3 | “So what does travelling mean to you?”, I asked. Iris replied, “I like learning new things and challenging myself.” So Iris’ inner values were learning new things and challenging herself. Iris realised that working in the bar didn’t mean that she was lazy or neglecting her career, she was trying to live her value of exploring and travelling this year. Working in a bar was making it possible. STEP 4 | She thought she could enhance her value of learning new things also in her current role in the bar. For instance, by asking more questions about how a bar is successfully run, investigate what the market looks like for investments in a bar, what marketing strategies are being used, how to get investors on-board for a bar.Try applying these 4 steps to your own life if you ever feel guilt or anxiety about the choices you have made to become a Girl Gone International.