a senior decides it is time to give up the keys – most fight for it as if their life depends on it . Most link driving to independence , others just don ’ t welcome being told what is good for them . If you have the backing of their physician , it may help . If they argue that they will drive while DMV extends their license , you may have to share your concerns with the DMV .
Throughout the conversation , make sure you emphasize that this is not just about their capability , it is about their safety and the safety of others . Don ’ t get into an argument . If you have ever suspended the driving privileges of a smart teenager – trust that this will be a tougher conversation ! Be prepared to suggest an alternative approach to transport – taxis offer discounts ; there ’ s the Outreach Program , and if they would not mind a companion , they can hire a personal assistant ( best not to call them caregivers during this volatile conversation ).
Make sure you also assess if taking the key is enough or if you need to take the car . If you are hiring a companion to help out , driving the family car is best because the cars of companions are not commercial vehicles – Mom or Dad won ’ t be covered if there is an accident . But if the car is there , you should be aware that even the most dignified seniors have been known to grin silently as they turn over the keys , because they have multiple copies or they figure they can get duplicates . Unless they accept that it is no longer safe for them to drive , some may agree to stop driving but see no harm in doing so once in a while . My caregivers at Visiting Angels can tell you stories about seniors who “ just one time ” decided to drive again . And they are smart about it , they do so when there is no one but the crushed garbage can to tell on them .
If “ it ” is time and you are dreading it , think of this : which would you rather deal with , their wrath or the consequences if they are injured or they injure someone ?
Everyone has a story … continued from page 29
Last September , he biked a 62-mile trek from Big Sur to San Simeon for Best Buddies , which helps people living with Downs syndrome find employment after graduation . “ It was challenging ; about 4,000 feet of elevation change ,” he recalled .
But that wasn ’ t Rob ’ s longest bike ride . That one covered 175 miles over two days from Milwaukee to Sturgeon Bay . Rob has been cycling for 15 years . The hobby evolved after doing a lot of spin classes three to four days a week , which he said helped him develop good form . Now he enjoys taking spin classes two to three days a week .
Rob has two children - twins who are 29 . His daughter is an attorney in Chicago and his son works for an insurance company in Milwaukee .
Shado , pronounced Shadow - the couple ’ s 97-pound “ lap dog ” - is also an important part of their family . Rob says the 7-year-old rescue dog saved Val ’ s life in 2007 . Val passed out while she was dialing 911 . Shado licked her until Val woke up . She realized she hadn ’ t finished dialing and was able to complete the call .
Rob says he and Val love to travel – content with either a business trip to Napa or Texas or visiting wineries in Los Olivos , near Santa Barbara .
“ There are great wineries around us . You don ’ t have to travel far ,” Rob said .
He has been pouring wine at Fernwood Cellars in Gilroy for the past two years after being a wine club member for six years .
“ It gives me a break from my real job ,” Rob said . “ I love to talk to people . It ’ s easy to talk about good wine .”
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