GAZELLE MAGAZINE WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH EDITION | Page 75

COMMUNITY & CULTURE
NONPROFIT
SPOTLIGHT
D
omestic violence comes in many forms, with physical
abuse reported as the most common type of violent
behavior against a spouse.
“We know this because the call to the police, the
call for help, often comes because they were choked
or knocked unconscious. That’s usually the type of incident that draws
attention to the abuse,” said Maggie Menefee, executive director of
Alternatives to Living in Violent Environments.
But Menefee is quick to add that in many cases, when there’s physical
abuse, other forms of violence are also likely to be present in a pattern
of repeated behaviors.
“There’s also emotional abuse, and today, it’s all about technology
and stalking, which is very frightening,” she said. “Abusers are becoming
very savvy in being able to track their victims with a GPS, and apps that
make it easy to locate someone’s phone.”
Economic abuse - such as refusing to pay the bills, defaulting on a
home, or ruining a spouse’s credit rating - is another way for someone
to exert control over a partner, according to Menefee. Then there’s rape
and sexual abuse.
“Sexual assault does occur in domestic violence, but it’s not even
reported during the initial call,” she explained. “Especially because
when it’s a partner, victims don’t consider it to be sexual assault.”
That “initial call” to ALIVE usually goes through the organization’s
24-hour crisis lines: [phone], [phone] (Franklin County) or
[phone].
“They’re calling for safety,” said Menefee, and explained that
ALIVE not only offers crisis intervention, but also transportation and
emergency shelter for victims and their children. “We hear from all
backgrounds, education levels, races and ethnicities ... we assist men,
the transgender population ... we can provide services to anyone.”
Additionally, ALIVE provides individual counseling, support groups
and court advocacy. Last year, the organization answered more than
6,000 crisis calls, and supplied emergency shelter to approximately
1,400 adults and children.
Menefee said for victims, the decision to come forward can be painful
and terrifying.
“The fear of leaving is overwhelming - for good reason. They’re
worried about being able to support their children. For some women,
the fear is, ‘If I leave, he told me he’d kill me,’ or ‘I’d never see my children
again,’” she said. “A lot of women will leave five, six, seven times before
they leave for good. They hope that it’s going to get better, and refuse to
believe there’s a failure.”
And that’s why Menefee said the best thing for someone to do
if they suspect that a co-worker, friend or loved one is in an abusive
relationship is to listen and to believe them.
“Let them know you believe them, and that you’re there to support
them. If there’s a co-worker who’s missing a lot of work … maybe there
are physical signs they’re trying to cover up … be a resource, and give
them information about help,” she said. “Listen to what they’re saying.
What they fear more than anything is that no one will believe them.”
MISSION: To provide counseling, emergency sanctuary and other
critical services to adults and children impacted by domestic abuse, as
well as to increase awareness in order to create a supportive community.
HOW YOU CAN HELP: ALIVE is hosting two trivia nights: On
Saturday, March 10, at the Kirkwood Community Center, and Saturday,
March 24, at the Washington Senior Center in Washington, Missouri.
Proceeds benefit programs for domestic abuse survivors and their
children. For