HEALTH & WELLNESS
RELATIONSHIP RESOLUTIONS
By Lindsay Walden
Sex and Relationships Therapist
With the holidays over and the New Year beginning, it’s time to think
about resolutions. I am all for self-improvement, but don’t forget to
include your relationships in the process.
Relationships take work, and though it can be very rewarding work,
it doesn’t mean it’s easy. The fairy tale idea of “happily ever after”
is possible, but it doesn’t just happen. As with everything in life, we
make time for and put effort into the things that are important to us.
We change as time passes, and the relationships we are part of change
as well. These changes often happen in small increments, but any
change in the dynamics of a relationship can lead to what I often refer
to as “relationship growing pains.” No matter how connected and
compatible people are with one another, these small changes can build
up and have a cumulative effect on the relationship happiness.
I don’t mean to paint a negative picture,
because with a relatively small amount of
time and effort, relationships don’t have
to suffer. The best way to combat these
growing pains is to spend time together. I
encourage all couples to spend at least one
hour per week together without the typical
daily distractions. Why not spend one of
those hours discussing the status of your
relationship? Worried about how to start this
conversation?
Not to worry. Try the three following ideas to
get started.
ended.
1 Discuss the year that recently and the Spendso
time talking about the goods
“not
goods” from the year, and talk about what
you’re hoping to see from the New Year.
Remember this is not an opportunity to pick
on each other. You’re on the same team. The
goal is to communicate openly in order to
build empathy and to develop understanding.
fiveSpend
2 Discuss youraboutto ten-year plan.and midtime talking
the short-term
term goals you have individually and as a
couple. Of course, nothing is set in stone, but
this is a good way to make a rough outline of
what you’d like the future to hold. Planning
to buy a new car? Looking for a new career?
Want to take a vacation to a tropical island?
The goal is to talk realistically about the
future while continuing to build empathy and
understanding.
your
3 Discussabouttwenty-year plan. Spend time
talking
the long-term goals you have
both individually and as a couple. This is
meant to be a much higher level discussion
about what you see in your future. Want
to build a custom home to enjoy during
retirement? Always dreamed of seeing the
Seven Wonders of the World? What type of
financial investments will you make to afford
this future? The goal is to enjoy dreaming
about your future plans, and to have an idea
of the direction you’re headed.
For more information about Lindsay’s
practice, visit lindsay walden.com.
GAZELLE STL