WOMEN WHO INSPIRE
SPECIAL HEALTH SECTION
Friends Make Good Sounding Boards
ANN CONKLIN UNRUH ’ S BOOK INSPIRED BY CONVERSATION
By Vicki Bennington
Ann Conklin Unruh ’ s book , “ Coffee is Cheaper Than Therapy ,” came about in an organic kind of way .
“ If you have a friend you can share your thoughts with , you are in luck ,” Unruh said , while reminiscing about her many sessions about life , love and the pursuit of happiness with her good friend , Kathleen Wolfersberger .
“ When life was giving one of us a hard time , we would talk , and end by telling each other what we saw as the other ’ s strengths . It was affirming , sometimes surprising , and definitely encouraging to hear some good words from a friend ,” she said .
Unruh earned a bachelor ’ s degree in education from Yankton College , and a master ’ s degree in counseling at the University of Colorado . She grew up in Buffalo , New York , but moved to Kirkwood , Missouri , 39 years ago . She worked as a counselor at Saint Louis University for 19 years , and taught counseling and career-related classes at local colleges and universities . She had a private careercounseling practice for 15 years .
And though there are many times a professional might be the place to turn with life ’ s challenges , she maintains that a friend is sometimes all you need .
“ Of course , some problems are better suited for therapy with a professional rather than a friend , but still … there were many times that we were struck by how much better we felt after simply getting whatever was needling us off our chests .”
Their issues certainly weren ’ t unique to them . The two friends discussed the book and thought that it was a way of allowing others to “ listen in ” on the conversations , and come away feeling easier about life . They also wanted to produce material in the voice of mature women .
“ We think people ’ s perspectives change as they go through life . This became clear when I would go back and read something I had written several years before . It would be close to my thinking , but didn ’ t express quite where I was currently at . It seemed to have subtly changed ,” she said .
One reader told Unruh that when she finished the book , she felt “ normal .”
And though she said humor was not the intention when writing the book , a common occurrence throughout is the friends joking and making light of changing and aging ( not taking things too seriously ). Unruh believes simple communication makes the human condition better .
“ It helps if you have friends who share similar perspectives , so they ‘ get ’ what you are saying ,” she said . “ It also helps if they are not judgmental . If you find someone like that , it is a joy . Invariably , after talking to them , I end up in a better place . “ And we laughed a lot , and that felt good ,” she added . The book is not meant to be advice on life , but rather , the two friends ’ observations about life . “ We hoped some of our remarks would resonate with people ,” she said . “ And we hoped to offer some comfort or support .”
Halfway through the writing of the book , Wolfersberger moved to Florida . Unruh was sad to see her go , but that doesn ’ t stop them from talking on the telephone .
“ We still share our ups and downs . We take turns . She gets her stuff out in the open , and then I tell her mine ,” Unruh said .
“ Coffee is Cheaper than Therapy ” can be purchased at Christopher ' s Gifts in Kirkwood and Main Street Books In Old Town St . Charles , as well as amazon . com .
Opposite page : Photo by Myrina Renaissance
90 GAZELLE STL