HEARTH & HOME Love It or List It without Fighting with Your Spouse Y ou want a cozy home in the suburbs. Your spouse wants a modern condo in the city. You want a home that’s move-in ready. Your spouse wants a fixer-upper. You and your spouse just can’t agree on anything. Did you think you would move into a new house by now, but can’t seem to find the right one? Is your house-hunting venture beginning to feel like an episode of “Love It or List It?” On the hit show that helps fed-up homeowners decide whether to renovate or sell their home, arguments between hosts Hilary Farr and David Visentin can get heated – and might resemble your own relationship with your spouse in the house-hunting process. Even after making such a decision, buying a new home can put strain on any marriage. But as the hosts demonstrate, bickering about important home decisions doesn’t have to be bad-natured. As Visentin said, “What we’re very skilled at is getting over arguments.” You and your spouse can pick up a few simple tips to help resolve your own bickering and make house hunting a success. Here’s how: 1. Get Your Views Out on the Table Biting your tongue and pulling your realtor aside to tell him or her in secret that you disagree with your spouse isn’t going to help you. When you disclose to your spouse your thoughts on what kind of home you want, what your most desired features are, etc., and your spouse does the same, you’re establishing a basis for which everything is out in the open. Arguments are always best resolved when all parties feel that their thoughts matter. Being afraid of confrontation is worse in the long run. This sanctuary, perfect for couples, features lighting from Ferguson Bath, Kitchen & Lighting Gallery 46 GAZELLE STL 2. Create Separate Checklists Each of you should write down your own ideas of what you want in a home. List your “must-haves,” “would likes,” “dislikes” and “deal- breakers.” This gives you the opportunity to have a clear vision of what you’re looking for in a home, because sometimes, disagreements start and perpetuate when both spouses don’t really have an idea what each is looking for.