PUBLISHER'S NOTE
Live Authentically
in the New Year
E
very now and then, you get to hear words that make you
change the course of your life.
This fall, Gazelle STL was the media sponsor for
Gabrielle Union’s sold-out book signing at St. Louis
County Library. Gabrielle’s book, “We’re Going to Need
More Wine,” is funny, complicated and her truth, and by the end of it, I
sure felt like I needed a glass of wine.
I was so excited to attend with one of my best friends, Makele.
As two educated, strong, black women navigating careers, kids and
relationships, we identify with Gabrielle. She is an actor, businesswoman,
wife of basketball star Dwayne Wade and stepmother to his children. If
you follow her on social media, you know that she is very opinionated,
strong-willed, sassy, sophisticated, and by her own admission, a work in
progress. Aren’t we all?
Imagine a room full of women from all walks of life (and a few
men), listening intently to a conversation between Gabrielle and event
moderator Debra Bass (formerly of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch), and
feeling as though you are sitting with a couple of girlfriends taking in
the words and wisdom being shared, knowing that at some point in life,
each person in the room has experienced a bit of what is being said.
Gabrielle candidly talked about her father’s infidelity and how later,
she was not faithful in her own first marriage. She admitted that she was
insecure as a dark-skinned black woman. She talked about the turmoil
of being raped, and how she must face her fears before walking into a
store, telling herself that the odds of it happening again are low. She
talked about how ambitious she was in building her career, which made
her do things that were not necessarily right for her like trying to be a
video vixen and auditioning for a Tupac video. She shared her struggles
with infertility, and her challenges as an actress fighting to gain the
same respect and compensation as everyone else with her stardom
and experience. In a nutshell, Gabrielle is working on her “stuff.”
She has been in therapy for 25 years, since being raped by a stranger
while working at a Payless shoe store. It was the summer before her
sophomore year at University of California, Los Angeles.
Wow! See how deep this conversation was? Are you feeling like you
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GAZELLE STL
have lived some of these experiences - just in a different situation and
environment? Maybe you didn’t do the cheating - your partner did.
Maybe you are in a job where you know your worth, and your voice
should count. But it doesn’t. Maybe you love your husband, but boy,
those kids he had before he met you are testing your patience and your
relationship.
There are two things that I took away from this intimate conversation.
1. I must face my baggage and own up to my role in it. If I was
mistreated, I must explore why and what stood in the way of me doing
something about it. Was it fear? Was I reliving a part of my childhood
where I watched someone close to me stay in a situation that was not
healthy? What is my role in the things that have happened to me, like
my divorce from the father of my children? Am I finally willing to admit
that I also have faults and maybe I was not perfect, either? Though I
would not change the outcome, I hope to grow even more from it, and
it begins with me taking ownership of my “stuff.”
2. I must strive to live authentically, and not be afraid to use my voice
as it may be the difference between someone else gaining the strength
to move forward or giving up. I may just inspire someone by sharing
my truth, by admitting to my flaws, and living as openly and honestly
as possible.
I may not be in therapy for the next 25 years, but I will work hard to
be a better person to myself and to those around me. I will thrive to live
more authentically. I challenge you to do the same.
Happy holidays!
Cillah Hall
Founder and Publisher
[email protected]
P.S. Gabrielle’s book is available at Barnes and Noble and on amazon.com.