WELLNESS & WELL-BEING
How to
Love
Yourself So
You Can
Truly Love
Others
By Sharee Silerio
F
or 29 years, I put my self-worth in the hands of others.
I based the way I loved and accepted myself on how
others loved and accepted me. I became preoccupied
with getting people to like me, show interest in me, need
me, and flirt with me. However, their actions, words and
attention weren’t enough. I still felt empty, hurt and craved more.
One day, I got sick and tired of the vicious “fill my cup from the
outside in” cycle and decided to tend to the condition of my heart, soul
and mind.
I understood that if I dealt with myself from a place of brokenness, I
would do the same with other people. I realized that you can’t give what
you don’t have, so I needed to give love to myself.
The first person you should practice love on – because love is a choice
and action – is you. Little by little, I learned how to love myself. If you
desire relationships rooted in unconditional, pure love, then making
it a reality starts with you. Here are eight ways you can learn to love
yourself so you can become and receive the love your soul yearns for.
1. Recognize that you are valuable, and that God, who created you,
loves you the way you are.
2. Take an honest look at who you are – including your past and
present – and accept ALL of it.
3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, shortcomings and failures.
4. Deal with your wounds and do the work (therapy, meditation,
journaling, etc.) required to heal them.
5. Believe that you can get where you want and need to be by being
exactly who you are.
6. Encourage yourself by speaking positive words regarding your
abilities, accomplishments and dreams.
7. Take care of yourself daily (rest when you need it, say no, have fun,
eat healthy food, exercise, etc.).
8. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Surround
yourself with people who treat you how you want to be treated.
Don’t wait for other people to love you the way you want to be loved.
Your life’s task is to love the one person who will always be there for you
and with you: you. When you fill your heart, soul and mind with the love
you hope to receive, you attract it into your life, whether that is through
a partner, friends or family.
Silerio is a St. Louis-based freelance writer, a blogger, and a film and
TV writer and producer. Her work has appeared in The Root, Curly Nikki
and The St. Louis American. Read her writings on faith and self-love at
sincerelysharee.com.
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