HEARTH & HOME
Love It or List It
without Fighting
with Your Spouse
Y
ou want a cozy home in the suburbs. Your spouse
wants a modern condo in the city. You want a home
that’s move-in ready. Your spouse wants a fixer-upper.
You and your spouse just can’t agree on anything.
Did you think you would move into a new house
by now, but can’t seem to find the right one? Is your house-hunting
venture beginning to feel like an episode of “Love It or List It?”
On the hit show that helps fed-up homeowners decide whether
to renovate or sell their home, arguments between hosts Hilary Farr
and David Visentin can get heated – and might resemble your own
relationship with your spouse in the house-hunting process.
Even after making such a decision, buying a new home can put
strain on any marriage. But as the hosts demonstrate, bickering about
important home decisions doesn’t have to be bad-natured. As Visentin
said, “What we’re very skilled at is getting over arguments.”
You and your spouse can pick up a few simple tips to help resolve
your own bickering and make house hunting a success. Here’s how:
1. Get Your Views Out on the Table
Biting your tongue and pulling your realtor aside to tell him or her in
secret that you disagree with your spouse isn’t going to help you. When
you disclose to your spouse your thoughts on what kind of home you
want, what your most desired features are, etc., and your spouse does the
same, you’re establishing a basis for which everything is out in the open.
Arguments are always best resolved when all parties feel that their
thoughts matter. Being afraid of confrontation is worse in the long run.
This
sanctuary,
perfect for
couples,
features
lighting from
Ferguson
Bath, Kitchen
& Lighting
Gallery
46
GAZELLE STL
2. Create Separate Checklists
Each of you should write down your own ideas of what you want
in a home. List your “must-haves,” “would likes,” “dislikes” and “deal-
breakers.”
This gives you the opportunity to have a clear vision of what you’re
looking for in a home, because sometimes, disagreements start and
perpetuate when both spouses don’t really have an idea what each is
looking for.