Boston Red Sox Steal Signs with Apple Watches
Say it ain’t so!
In baseball, spying on the other team to the best of your
ability is something of a time-honored tradition. But
recently, the Boston Red Sox landed in some hot water
for just that. Specifically, because they used outside
tech (an Apple Watch to be exact) to do it.
Essentially, their trainers had been using the Apple
Watch to receive replays and relay the hand signs the
catcher used. They’d then relay that information to
players. While there haven’t been any penalties
assigned yet, it’s likely to happen eventually, unless
MLB want the sanctity of the game to go completely
out the window.
In MLB it's not illegal to capture hand signals and use
them to your advantage, but it's not kosher to do so
using any sort of technology, like an Apple Watch in
this case. Seems like an expensive way to do thing, but
baseball teams are nothing if not good at spending lots
and lots of money.
At the same time, though, good on them for actually
finding a use for the Apple Watch.
That Stupid Juicero Machine Is No More
Ah, Juicero. Yet another stupid internet enabled device that
overcomlicated a simple thing. I mean, shit, my editor has a
juicer from the 70’s that not only still works, it lets you juice
whatever you want.
Juicero couldn’t do that; its sole purpose is to squeeze bags filled
with juice (in a manner similar to Keurig’s K-Cups). There’s
almost nothing it’s good for without those bags, whose
production is soon to be shut down. You know, those bags that
you could squeeze the juice out of by hand. Like some sort of
cave man. And those bags were a $40 a week subscription.
This stupid, stupid machine had no buttons; the only way to
operate it was by smartphone, and it needed to be connected to
the internet (so that it could check databases for the bag code to
see if it was spoiled/recalled/etc.) just to work. And it initially
cost $699. And the kicker? That wasn’t enough to recoup losses!
The goddamn things are so gloriously over-engineered that
each unit probably cost almost $2000 to build. And they
slashed prices to $400; which still wasn’t enough to entice
people. It’s no surprise that Doug Evans is known for this, and
Organic Avenue, a failed chain of cold-pressed juice bars. He
strikes me as the type that can spin gold into shit. Google’s
venture capital arm pumped $120 million into this mess. It’s all
kind of hilarious.
22