Some people are really good at realizing what is truly of worth in life. They value relationships over doing, know how to measure worth, think eternally, know more about being a good christian instead of just trying to check things off a list.
I am not one of those people.
I used to always think that if I was busy enough, doing enough things, doing the right things, volunteering for everything, keeping all the balls in the air while keeping the joy of the Lord, that meant I was a successful Christian.
Then I got sick. After a few years the pain got intense and I could no longer keep all the balls in the air. I had to stop volunteering for everything. Some days I stayed on the couch all day and “did” absolutely nothing. My pain affected more than my body.
My ego was crushed.
How would people know I was a great Christian? More importantly, how would I know? There’s no published check list for people in their early 30s who should have boundless energy but have days they can’t function.
If we go back to our study in II Corinthians 12, Paul says that one reason his thorn in the flesh was given to him was so that he would not be exalted.
“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.”
Let me tell you, it works.
It taught me that there is nothing good that I can do outside of God.
Paul makes it clear as the chapter goes on that he wants God to get the glory. I loved serving God and probably would have told you that I was giving God all the glory, but I honestly never really thought much about needing God’s help to serve Him.
The days that forced me to pray,
Jennifer Holmes