Flumes Volume 2: Issue 1, Summer 2017 - Page 44

Siri Shops

by Diane Funston

Siri shops the markets armed with information.

She avoids the advertised brands,

recycles the colorful ads imploring her to buy.

College educated, California born and bred,

she looks down her frameless glasses on those, media-hypnotized.

Her chronic awareness knows she will never shop at Smallmart.

No, she proudly goes to Whole Wallet, Natural Foods Co-opted.

Wearing her bamboo skirt, she whirls down informed aisles,

reading each package, as if a chemistry textbook.

She carries her fair trade woven basket.

Always organic, even though the pickers may not read English

while sorting the carrots for Grimface Farms.

She chooses rice that was dried under the armpits of certified 3rd world

virgins,

non-sulfite wine stomped by the unwashed feet of armed

revolutionaries,

BelowAverageIQ bottled water, because one can always trust plastic.

Shopping ever so carefully, she buys Tim's of Mass. deodorant and

toothpaste,

Greek yogurt with the weirdest most unpronounceable names,

she could strain her own at a fraction, in a plastic strainer, but it may

contain BMWs.

31