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love
What to Do When You Find Out You’ve Been Cheated On?
Some studies suggest that cheating occurs in about half of all relationships. Being cheated on can be a profoundly painful experience, and it can be hard to know what to do after the initial discovery.
If your relationship is on the line, make sure you have the correct information about what happened. If you suspect that cheating occurred, or if you heard the information second-hand, don’t jump to conclusions just yet. You need to have a conversation with your partner. It will be horribly painful, but there’s no way around that.
Discovering that your partner was cheating on you is incredibly painful. Knowing who it was, when it started, what they did and where, why that person… there is almost no answer that your partner can give you that won’t gouge out parts of your soul. Everyone who’s discovered their partner’s indiscretions almost always says the same thing: “I wish I’d never found out.” Processing the fact that your partner has been banging someone else is painful enough. All asking for the details will do is give you things to torture yourself with and images that will never leave your head. Ignorance isn’t exactly bliss in this case but it’s a hell of a lot less painful. and at the same time, it depends of the type of individual you are some would like to know, not always to
torture their mind but to understand where they have failed. And this is for the purpose of not forcibly take back the same partner but to do better in the next relationship, or save the relationship if need be by changing. Also, if you want to understand, then you don’t want the “whats” or “hows”, you want the “whys” – the motivation behind the affair. Why? Well that’s because…
It always better during the conversation not to ask for all the gory details of the affair. A partner who would try to tell you how good was the person with whom it cheated on you, want most likely to hurt. Therefore, you should understand that the motivations were mainly to switch on you. The precision on every detail can be done in order to kill the relationship. In this case it is better to let it go because as long as the person has not achieved its goal of getting you away, it will start again, and the shameful situations that follow the solicitation of a relationship never grow those who risk it. The best love is the one which is mutual, this can never be stated enough.
Give yourself some room take a time out from the relation, if you live in the same place move out create some distance and start to appreciate the life without the other partner, because the first and most important thing about handling the aftermath of being cheated on is self-care.
Your emotions are going to be all over the place after finding out about your partner cheating. You’re going to need time to figure out up-from-down, much less figure out your next steps. After you’ve heard your partner out, tell them that you need some time alone to think about what you’re going to do. Ask them to respect your boundaries and not contact you until you reach out.
Flashmag December 2017 www.flashmag.net