Flashmag Digizine Edition Issue 107 July 2020 - Page 100

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For many types of narcissists, making love is an opportunity to focus on appearance and image, which makes them hate their faults or weaknesses. So, they usually focus on the carnal gratification of owning and using their partner's body. Sex for narcissists is not a communion of mind; Rather, it is about measuring expectations, or carnal performance, so they focus on the physical aspect rather than the emotional. As a result, something will always be missing, both in the bed and in the relationship; and this missing link can be disturbing, because, by sometimes seeking to find it, the naive partner is manipulated by seeking to reach a fullness, which he / She feels within his / her reach but which always remains elusive, because the manipulator knows how to play with the feelings of his/ her partner

Because narcissists are only concerned with their own happiness, and satisfaction, they often disappear emotionally (and physically) after intercourse. If you feel dissatisfied, empty, or alone after the act, it could be a sign that you - and your body - are being taken advantage of by someone who only cares about his / her own interests.

Beyond the dismal appearance of manipulative narcissists. There is positive manipulation that can make a relationship better. The key for women is to understand male psychology, and more specifically, “the hero's instinct”, that slumbers in any normally constituted man. Also, a companion would for example allude to the things that she would say impossible to achieve by her man, because either of his material pedigree, or of his supposed lack of romanticism. For example, she would plant the idea of a romantic trip to a ski resort. Saying that her sister was lucky to have a husband who brought her to Aspen every winter. By scratching her boyfriend's ego, he may well sooner or later offer her a vacation in a similar or even better place.

Women also like to use reverse psychology. Some guys are fiercely competitive, they prefer to walk on broken glass rather than make mistakes. All they have to do is tell their partner that he cannot do certain things, so that he will do them by challenge.

In the beginnings of a relationship, it happens that very early you can notice that you are dealing with a person who tries to manipulate you to have the dominant position in a relationship. For example, by not deliberately answering your calls, SMS, e-mails or other reasonable requests, the manipulator tries to make himself (herself) more important than you, by making you wait. It thus plants doubt and uncertainty in your mind, forcing you to think about her/him, sometimes seeking to understand what you had done wrong to deserve this inattention. Silent treatment is a manipulation of the mind, which uses silence as a form of leverage.

Some manipulators like to play the idiot, pretending that he or she doesn't understand what you want, or what you wanted them to do. This kind of passive-aggressive manipulator makes you take responsibility and makes you sweat for him/her. Some children use this tactic to manipulate adults so that they do for them, what they do not want to do. Some adults also use this tactic when they have something to hide or an obligation they want to avoid.

One of the classics of the manipulator is to use victimization by evoking, exaggerated or imagined personal problems, to arouse sympathy and obtain favors.

The purpose of manipulative victimization, is often to exploit the goodwill, the guilty conscience, the recipient's sense of duty and obligation or their protective and nurturing instinct, in order to obtain unreasonable benefits and concessions.

Someone who uses manipulation does so to stay safe. Often, the manipulator is in a weak position in a relationship, or unconsciously adopts this position. A manipulator acts out of fear, fear of being direct, fear of being honest and above all fear of showing his true face and of becoming vulnerable. All the tactics of the manipulator aim at controlling the situation or even the life of their partner in extreme cases. Also, some manipulators would talk about their concern and the security they want to give their partner to demand to know everything they do, where they go and who they see. Through this fictitious motif, the manipulator hides his true selfish motive of control and domination.

Sexually speaking, the manipulation of certain partners can be emotionally depressing. For men having sex with their partner, often represents a moment of gratification for the acceptance of their person by their sweetheart. Also, when a woman refuses her male partner sexual favors, the latter often feel outraged because this implies a rejection of their person that sometimes they live badly, also women who know how to play on this sensitive rope, often manipulate their partner. However, the risk is that men, by ego often get tired and swear to look better elsewhere, at all costs.

Flashmag July 2020 www.flashmag.net