Fix School Discipline Toolkit for Educators | Page 41

was trying to get my youngest girl to get dressed
in the morning and she would not do it and it was
taking too long. She was making us all late. So I used
to say, “Why can’t you just listen and get dressed?”
Of course, she still wouldn’t get dressed. Last week,
after class, I told her that it made me frustrated when
she did not get dressed because then we were late to
school. She dressed herself in the morning and then I
told her, “I am very happy when you dress yourself.”
After the opening circle, parents reviewed affective
statements and then moved on to restorative
questions. Ms. Geiges, explained that restorative
questions are non-judgmental questions that
communicate a desire for understanding and that
they are best used in a private setting. “If you
are unable to ask your student these questions
without anger or judgment, than you should wait
for a time when you’re ready and able to discuss
the conflict without strong emotions. Additionally,
when participating in a restorative conference, it is
important to say exactly what you heard in response
to the questions.” She then provided the parents
with a list of questions to ask kindergarten, first and
second graders and a separate list for third, fourth
and fifth graders. She explained:

RP at Rosa Parks Elementary.
“I have been teaching for ten years, the last five of
which have been here at Rosa Parks. This is our
second year with Restorative Practices and the
climate here is much better. There is a lot less
screaming and fighting from the kids. I also see a
lot fewer ‘frequent fliers, who usually are repeatedly
referred to the office. Now you go through a
restorative conference and that’s it. I think that the
students feel like their voices are being heard so they
are less angry and less likely to act out.”

“These questions are asked when a child has
exhibited unacceptable behavior, such as hitting a
sibling or classmate or cursing. Parents or teachers
should ask the student to recall what s/he was
thinking when the incident occurred, who was
affected by his/her actions, what s/he has thought
about the incident since it occurred and what s/he
he thinks can be done to correct the effects of the
incident.” She told the group that if there are two or
more students involved in an incident, they should
be told that they will each be allowed to answer the
questions and tell their side of the story. Teachers
and school staff carry these questions with them at all
times.
After practicing the questions in pairs, the parents,
teachers, and a cafeteria worker returned to a closing
circle to end the class. While passing the talking piece
in the opposite direction from the opening circle,
parents discussed how they were planning to use what
they had learned. One parent planned to use restorative
conferences when her two young children argued about
their toys, while teacher Cecily Ina said that she planned
on using more affective statements with her husband.
After the circle adjourned, Ms. Ina talked about the
changes she had observed since the implementation of

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