ELECTIVE Caesarean - twice
A local mum's experience of tokophobia
Tokophobia is the fear of pregnancy and childbirth but with me it wasn’t so much fear of the pain – no, my anxiety surrounded the idea of my baby girl being starved of oxygen or there being some other complication. I just couldn’t get the thought out of my head. I just didn’t trust my body to do the right thing. I was worried I might die too but all I could think was that she would survive me and be healthy. I spent hours worrying about it, had nightmares and would cry myself to sleep thinking about how she would grow up without me.
I had an assessment at Stepping Stones which is a part of the mental health support services in Bromley. I was offered anxiety medication which I refused as I hadn’t even taken paracetamol during my pregnancy. I did take up the offer of cognitive behavioural therapy which tries to help you understand the reasons behind your anxiety and then give you ways to control and manage your fears. Unfortunately I had one session with a junior team member who didn’t help and then she left so that was the end of that. I was having more frequent scans which did help but I always left my midwife appointments in tears.
At around 39 weeks my midwife asked if I had considered an elective c-section and actually the feeling of relief was enormous. I was given an appointment to see the Head of Elective Surgery two days later who agreed to the procedure and I was told to come back another two days later which happens to be my husband’s birthday. It was a little surreal to be telling my mum that I would be having a baby the following day.
I had some medication to take the night before, was told not to eat and my husband helped me shave down there. I was in at 9am and I was in the operating room around 11 with the surgical team introducing