Lost Your Mojo?!
down all the behaviours that move you towards this value. For example, I value my children and being a good mum. When I spend quality, uninterrupted time with them, like reading or playing, talking or listening to them I feel aligned with this value and I feel good.
Now look at the bottom left corner. This is place to consider the 'hooks' that pull you away from your value. My hooks include 1) feeling frustrated that I’m not getting other stuff done when I’m ‘just’ playing with the kids; 2) feeling irritated, eg. when there’s lots of moaning or fighting between them; 3) boredom, because, let’s face it, a lot of parenting involves repetition and can get dull!
Now we know what the unpleasant stuff is that shows up when we try to follow our value we can now understand what we do to cope with that (top left box). Write all the ways that you cope with the unpleasant stuff. So, in my case I might cope with my irritation and stress by putting them in front of the TV. I
Occasionally we hit a patch where we feel a bit… ‘meh’. Our usual motivation and sparkle for life feels dulled and we can feel a bit listless or lost. This simple technique can help you to reconnect to the things that are important to you (your values) which can help you get your mojo back!
Values are about what you want your life to mean. They are different to goals as they can never be ‘reached’, but when we live according to our values we tend to feel better and more motivated. The matrix on the next page can help you to think about what your values are and increase awareness about the things that take you away from them, so that you can make a conscious choice to turn towards value-based behaviour every day.
Start with the bottom right hand corner. Ask yourself: ‘who and what is important to me?’ This will help you to reconnect to things that are meaningful to you; perhaps it's your partner or children, your work or study. Now look at the box above it and write
Dr Claire Plumbly, Clinical Psychologist, shows us a simple psychological
technique for getting motivated again