FIERCE LIFE MAGAZINE THE HOLIDAY - Page 59

FLM: How do you cultivate yours and Amos’ time?

TW: We certainly can be much better at it. We don’t get out of the house as much as we would like to so what we always do is Saturday night- movie night or Saturday night- TV night. After the kids go to bed, that’s our time. I also have what I like to call a ‘Mom Co-op’, which could probably be much bigger than it is. There is a local mom in the neighborhood who we are really good friends with and she has two girls. At minimum once a month, maybe more if need, we would (watch each other’s) kids, allowing the parents to go out on dates. That’s really helpful and we completely trust them. We don’t do it often enough where we are out of the house together, just the two of us. I think we know it’s something that we have to work on. We will get better at it as this little guy gets older.

FLM: What does ‘me’ time look like?

TW: Oh my goodness! Unfortunately, Amos gets on me often for not taking enough ‘me’ time. Amos is often telling me “Tiffany, go out I have the kids, let me take this” and usually I have tons of excuses. Things I do for ‘me’ time – I take long, hot showers. I may be in the shower for 45 minutes, so technically yes I am getting that time. I also have two really good friends from grad school and all three of us are married and moms. We are all very busy but once a quarter, we get together and we stay out late – not doing anything crazy, typically we’re going to dinner or at someone’s home, just catching up. While I can do much better, those are the two things I do for me at the moment.

FLM: What would you want Kai and Spencer to take away from you as a mother and a woman?

TW: One of the things that I committed to giving to both Kai and Spencer that I did not have while growing up, is a committed father present in their lives. Even if we weren’t married, at least I knew Amos’ character and that he would be there for his kids regardless. I would want Kai to know that she doesn’t have to live by traditional norms of society. If she never wants to get married or never decides to have kids, I want her to know that’s ok. She doesn’t have to follow a traditional path that society expects you to follow. And for Spencer - I guess it’s so cliché, you often hear that you can tell the way a man is going to treat his partner by the he treats his mother. I am hopeful that I am raising him so he feels empowered to not only be a great son but to be a good husband and father. He’s still very young so we’ll see.

FLM: Now let’s talk beauty! I did notice that you have gone natural. How in the world, as a naturalista, are you maintaining two kids and your hair?

TW: When I was getting a relaxer on a regular basis, I remember telling my really good friend and beautician, I want to stop having relaxers and she asked if I have time for it. I told her no and she said she wouldn’t suggest it. So, technically I don’t have time for it and that’s why you won’t see me in fancy hairstyles but you will see me in my natural fro. I’ll put some water on it and moisturizer and then I’m out the door. About two years ago, Kai came to me and said “Your hair doesn’t look like mine. You don’t have curls like I have curls. Why is your hair straight and mine is curly?” She was obviously starting to notice that as much as we talk about how wonderful her hair is and how much she should embrace it, but I’m not embracing it and doing the same. Kai was really the inspiration to wearing my natural hair. Once I become a little bit more of an expert on different hairstyles, maybe I’ll start switching it up but for now this works for me.

MOM CRUSH WEDNESDAY

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"Why is your hair straight and mine is curly?”