can’t choose your family, or can you? That holds true for your biological family, but you can have a say about the family you marry into. I couldn’t imagine marrying into a family that I didn’t like. For me that would be very painful, uncomfortable and awkward. I’m sure that I would deal with it out of respect for my wife, but then again it would depend on the situation. Luckily for me I’ve never had that problem, because my in-laws are absolutely fabulous. All of them! There hasn’t been one person from my wife’s family that I’ve met that I didn’t like, which I hear is rare when it comes to the in-law thing.
I know when you fall in love we’re not necessarily thinking about life with the other person’s family, but that is something that you should seriously consider before saying I do. Being a good in-law is just as important, because that could determine the status of your relationship with your kids, siblings and grandchildren down the road. If you are soon to be married or have a son, daughter, sister or brother that will eventually marry, here are five key characteristics of identifying great in-laws.
I know when you fall in love we’re not necessarily thinking about life with the other person’s family, but that is something that you should seriously consider before saying I do. Being a good in-law is just as important, because that could determine the status of your relationship with your kids, siblings and grandchildren down the road. If you are soon to be married or have a son, daughter, sister or brother that will eventually marry, here are five key characteristics of identifying great in-laws.
1.) They welcome you with open arms.
From day one when I met my wife’s family they were very welcoming. Diane and Jerry were the first family members I met when Alayna and I first started dating. We went to visit them in Scottsdale for the first time and I had a chance to connect with them over golf and dinner. Jerry played a significant role in my proposal during Christmas that year. He was the only other person that knew about my plans to pop the question while we were in Scottsdale and volunteered to cook Alayna’s favorite dinner that night. He also made sure that I had the perfect Arizona sunset in the backdrop for the big ask. I met Aunt Deb and Uncle Al (RIP) on Christmas day and we all had a wonderful Christmas dinner.
I met John and Diane (Gramps and Granny D), Irv, and the rest of the family during our engagement party that Alayna’s family threw for us in Vancouver. It’s an understatement to say how nice and kind everyone was. I felt like I had known them for years, as they went out of their way to celebrate us. As a matter-of-fact nothing has changed. Every time we visit her family wherever that may be, it’s always a celebration of our arrival. They’re welcoming of me to their family has always been inviting and sincere. You can tell a lot about people by the way they treat you and others in their home.
2.) They don’t Judge.
When someone you love is getting married you only want them to choose the best person for them. Sometimes what you want is not what they get and that’s when the judgement starts to happen. I’ve never felt judged by my wife’s family for any reason whatsoever. I’m sure our relationship would be vastly different if that was the case. Asking engaging questions and sincerely getting to know someone will help to prevent this. The threat of judging is continuous and can be ongoing throughout a marriage, especially during tough times. Again, empathizing and seeking to understand another person’s position or circumstance will help to build better relationships and trust throughout the family.