OLD MEN
ARE NOT ALWAYS WISE
I
moved to Dayton , Ohio to pursue my career in education and leaving the church where I had given my life to Christ and friends who were more like family , spent the first three years in a strange city trying to understand why Christ separated me from every support system I had . To my surprise , I found that Christ ’ s reason was that He was calling me into music ministry . My start was fraught with missteps , sorrow , loss and my own low self-esteem made launching a music ministry a terrifying adventure .
Instead of casting my cares on the Lord , I allowed situations to strangle my faith and paralyze me with fear . Instead of finding comfort in Jesus I sought comfort in food . In six years I gained seventy pounds and I was already a curvy girl before I moved to Dayton ! Bundled up against the cold that winter , I arrived at church and found I couldn ’ t get out of my car . I had gained so much weight and with my winter coat on , I was stuck behind the steering wheel .
“ This is straight crazy !” I thought , laughing and fighting tears as I half slid and scooted to get out of my car . “ My life is outta control , I gotta get it together .”
Thus began a journey of dealing with my past and my fears , learning to submit my will to the Lord , to say no , to eat right , exercise , and in other words , learned to die to my flesh
“
Not wanting to drown in a past of sorrows I explained that I had been desperately in love with a man I had wanted to marry but unfortunately he didn ’ t feel the same way
and walk in victory .
”
Weight loss was easier when I was much younger but the Lord keeps encouraging , telling me I can do this if I allow Him to fulfill my desires . Sometimes submission is easier said then done , especially after a rocking church service where I ’ ve worked up a sweat getting my praise on and everyone wants to fellowship at some restaurant to complete the night . But I wrestle weekly with the scale and was pleased that after a year I ’ d lost fifty pounds ! Feeling proud , self esteem skyrocketing ; I should have been prepared for what happened next .
The morning after that wonderful weigh in , I got dressed , put on make-up , looked in the mirror and thought , “ Girl , you look good .”
I knew I was cute , feeling good , not vain , just satisfied with “ me ” still curvy but much healthier . Heading out the door I took my cute self over to Brookview Senior Residential Community where I gave concerts for the elderly who always attended in great numbers when I visited .
Walking in I was greeted