them as less attractive, too. We might also be afraid of someone different from ourselves and what that means for our own identity.
3. Discontent.
Have you ever sought change in your appearance or mindset, but didn't know how to make it happen? If so, you'll likely be familiar with the feeling of restlessness that comes from not knowing what to do. And sometimes in those situations, we try to disrupt the peace of others to make our own chaos seem better.
None of these reasons make harsh judgement acceptable, but they all tie back to jealousy which in turn feeds negative thinking, and when we insult other women, we’re indirectly casting insults and judgements on ourselves, too.
And where we seek to make ourselves feel better at the expense of another or by comparing ourselves to someone else, we end up only inflicting hurt on ourselves and others. It's literally a no win situation.
"So how do I stop? How do I make my second thought count when I catch myself out being critical?"
Try these four techniques to bring greater self-awareness to your life and help you stop the cycle of appearance-based judgements:
Dig deep and find the positives.
Think about all the harsh criticisms you give others and how these affect you. Chances are, those criticisms are stopping you from focusing on what’s going right in your life. Let’s shift that inner dialogue from negativity to gratitude. Grab a pen of paper and make a list of all the things that you LOVE about your appearance. No matter how insignificant you think those positive thoughts are, write them down.
Maybe you’ve always loved your bellybutton. Or maybe you love the way your strong legs give you the strength to run around with your kids. Or maybe you’ve always loved the femininity of your hands.
Write it all down, and read those list of positive attributes as if you were reading them about a stranger. Meet yourself – the version of yourself that you’re able to feel positive (or even neutral) about. Remember too that loving your body is wonderful, but you are so much MORE than just a body! So while you've got your pen and paper out, add to that list with some of your non-visual traits that you admire in yourself.
Stop vocalising criticisms.
When you’re in a group situation or chatting with friends, it’s important not to participate in any negative and judgemental dialogue. You know what I mean: gossiping, critical discussions of other women, obsessing over celebrities. It all suggests that it’s OK to judge other women for their appearance and judge ourselves similarly. And although we may get applause or laughs or nods of acceptance from our peers when we conform to what's expected and tear down other women... where does that really leave us?
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