February 2018 Issue #14 February 2018 Issue #14, 4GUYS | Page 34

What if I fuck less?
It’s true that the less you fuck without condoms, the smaller the chance you will catch HIV.
Some kinds of sex carry no risk of HIV transmission (wanking, rimming) and some are
pretty low risk (blowjobs, especially if cum doesn’t get in your mouth).
What if I only fuck without condoms with guys with the same HIV status as me?
There are no visual signs or sexual behaviours which guarantee someone will be HIV-pos-
itive or negative
There are many reasons why someone may not want to tell you their HIV status and lots of
men don’t know their HIV status, or believe it to be different from what it actually is
Around one in five HIV-positive men don’t know that they have HIV [2]
It’s estimated that one in seven gay men on the London gay scene has HIV [1]
If you are HIV-negative you cannot safely or reliably find partners who are also negative if
you have just met in a bar or through internet sites/apps.
Some HIV-positive men use online dating sites and apps to find other HIV-positive men
for condomless sex [3]. There is a risk that an HIV-positive man can be reinfected with a
different strain of the virus. Reinfection may reduce your treatment options. Having con-
domless sex will also expose you to other sexually transmitted infections (e.g. hepatitis,
syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhoea and herpes) which can be harder to treat in men with a
compromised immune system.
What if I want to stop using condoms with my boyfriend?
If you’ve slept with someone a few times, or you’re starting a relationship, condoms might
not seem as important. However, there are a few things you should consider.
Roughly a third of recently-infected gay men said they got it from fucking with a regular
partner [4]
If you want to stop using condoms with a partner and want to avoid HIV from entering your
relationship, you could come up with a plan to avoid HIV
You need to be sure that you are both HIV-negative and if either of you has never tested,
or if you have taken any sexual risks since your last test, you should have an HIV test to
avoid any doubt about your status.
If you both test negative it is important that you are both happy with the decision to not use
condoms, without either of you feeling under pressure. A healthy relationship is based on
mutual trust and respect and carries a level of responsibility on both sides, so you should
agree whether or not you are both going to be monogamous.
Many men stick to their agreement with their boyfriend and some don’t. Think about how
you might cope if you or your boyfriend made a mistake. If you talk with each other about
how you will address it before you ditch the condoms, it will make it a lot easier to own up
and get back on track if one of you does fuck someone else without condoms.
If you have any sex with other people, even if it is always with condoms, you should con-
tinue to get tested for HIV and other STIs on a regular basis.
Remember, if you are not sure about ditching the condoms, don’t do it. If you ever feel un-
certain about anything, you can always go back to using condoms.