Welcome to the Village!
"It takes a village to raise a child." Well, for dads like you, that village is here!
Many are unaware, but the truth is - men are often lonely creatures. Men are wired and encouraged by society to achieve, protect and provide, and are now becoming more and more aware of their need to nurture, love, and spend time with their families. This is a fairly recent, though very welcome development. Fathers in the not-too-distant past used to focus on providing and achievement, often at the expense of having little significant involvement in the lives of their children.
Dads today are often caught in the midst of these expectations, often unsure how to do it, since their own fathers may have been among the absent ones of the 50's, 60's, and 70's. They sincerely WANT to do things right, but often don't know how.
Add this frustration to the ironic disconnectedness
felt by many in the 21st century, and you have a recipe for depression, frustration, and even anger. We are more connected than ever, through social
media, cellphones, and the internet, but people increasingly report feeling isolated from others, and having few genuine friendship.
I'll start this by saying that I'm right there with you, if that's how you're feeling. I'm a 30 year old dad who had a good childhood. I was blessed to have two involved parents and a stable home life. That's all well and good, but even with those positives, adulthood and parenthood are tough!
When I finished college (Oklahoma Baptist University) and moved away to find my place in the world was when I was first struck by the overwhelming feeling of alone-ness. Fresh off of winning my undergraduate alma mater's Homecoming King Award (no doubt due to my connected and involvement on campus events), I was suddenly in a new town, a complete unknown to those around me, just a face in a crowd. I had to reinvent myself all over again. Find new friends, get a job, fill my down time. And I don't know that I ever really "got it". I marriage my college
sweetheart and we moved to California. After finding jobs and buying our first house, we learned we were pregnant with my first, a little girl. What a whirlwind!
So here I am, a responsible guy, with two degrees in Psychology (my Master's is from Oklahoma State University for any Pokes fans out there), relatively responsible, gainfully employed, with a wife, two kids, and Not. A. Clue.
After my second child (a boy this time) was born, I realized I needed help. Trouble was, my friends all have work obligations, volunteering commitments, and families all of their own. Everyone needs help, and wants to help, but no one is quite sure how to do it. That's why I started my blog, website, and this magazine. Let's help each other, guys!
There's not much to lose by investing a little time each day in becoming a better father. At least looking back, you and your kids can say that you tried. But have you seen the statistics on kids with absent fathers? They are among the most angry, emotionally ravaged, and completely lost folks out there. The price they pay for their father's absence is extreme. Let's not let that happen to OUR kids.
I welcome you to kick back, read at your leisure, and link up with myself and other dads around the world on my site (www.ask-a.dad.com) and on Twitter (@Ask_ADad) and Facebook (www.facebook.com/askadadpage). Let's build this village and raise these kids together.
Care. Connect. Engage.
Along for the Ride,
Chris Peters, M.S.
AskADad Project Manager/Chief Editor