While the changes in the brain’s chemical make-up are too subtle to
discern, problems caused to one’s mental health or psychological
well-being due to porn is easy to distinguish. Regular porn use often
interferes with a person’s ability to maintain good self-esteem,
especially the sense of self-respect and integrity. This is manifested
in your actions and relationships with others. No matter how much
pleasure we may get from porn, deep in our heart, we are quite aware
that watching porn is morally wrong in the eyes of society. The fact that
we often have to use porn in secrecy compromises our integrity and
honesty in interpersonal relationships. The sense of shame and guilt
that follows is more mentally destructive.
Prevention is always better than cure and luckily, there are many things
parents can do to reduce the likelihood of children getting involved with porn.
The most important step in preventing porn problems is actually encouraging
open and positive discussion about sexuality, even if it is difficult for many
parents to do. Children will continue watching porn if it remains THE primary
way they can get any information about sex.
DECREASING THE LIKELIHOOD OF THE PORNOGRAPHY PROBLEM
The following list identifies things you can do to help protect your child
from the negative impact of pornography. We suggest that you follow these
recommendations throughout the course of your child’s development, changing
your approach to coincide with what is appropriate for your child age.
Maintain a porn-free
The truth is, whenever we do things in private that we feel bad about, it
has an influence on our emotions, even if we are not consciously aware
of it. Becoming easily irritated at trivial things and eventually becoming
depressed are common occurrences for regular porn users. It’s hard to feel
good about yourself when you’re plagued by shame, fear, and a need to hide
a part of your life from those around you. This is how lonely porn users can
be since they are isolated from the important people in their lives.
MY WORK WITH PORN ADDICTS
For three years, I have been volunteering for a Chinese online
translation community with the goal of providing information for
overcoming pornography addiction by translating English information
and resources into simplified Chinese. Since then, I have had the chance
to communicate with porn addicts, sexuality specialists and leading
characters in the social sexuality campaigns.
Millions of Chinese netizens have realised that their porn use has been
affecting their lives, and they have been actively seeking help to overcome
their dependency on porn. The majority of them are young people, who
mentioned that their porn addiction started as an occasional diversion and
entertainment. Slowly, it became a habitual problem that threatened their
development. Their health degenerated, their self-esteem was impaired,
and they suffered from emotional isolation due to excessive porn watching.
Generally speaking, it is even worse for children as they lack a
comprehensive understanding of the consequences of porn addiction. The
founder of the online translation community Liang, who is in his midtwenties, can attest to this. Liang’s craving for porn can be traced back to
his middle school days when he was extremely introverted and shy. He tried
to escape reality by immersing himself in a sea of porn. Unfortunately, his
parents did not show the slightest concern with his social issues and had no
clue about his porn addiction. He did not hesitate to share with me how porn
has ruined every relationship he has ever had, and how it consumed his
energy and deflated his confidence. His story demonstrates how easy it is
for children to slip into porn without the guidance of their parents.
THE FIRST STEP
Liang recommends The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming
Problems Caused by Pornography by sex and relationship therapists
Larry and Wendy Maltz as an effective tool for parents who want to
help their children who are battling porn addiction. The book takes a
comprehensive look at porn addiction and the consequences resulting
from porn use. The book also works as an effective guide for family sex
education, enabling parents to get the necessary information needed to
guide their children’s sexuality development.
Nowadays, the world is full of easily accessible sexual content. Parents
can take multiple measures to diminish the availability of porn on home
computers and mobile devices, but the truth is, you can never be able
to fully shield your children. So, in addition to doing what you can to
limit your children’s contact with porn, it is also wise to maintain an
emotionally close and hea