The abandonment by my mom left a trail of hurt
that impacted me in ways I never could imagine. It
wasn’t until my adolescent years though that the
struggles began manifesting itself.
Shortly after high school, I began dating the wrong
person. It wasn’t long before that relationship
became physically abusive. The last incident was so
intense, I thought sure I was going to die. A year
later, I was pregnant at 19.
I went on to be a single mom throughout college. I
went to school full time and I worked full time. It
was hard but we made it. I eventually got married.
I was divorced a year and half later only to realize
that I wasn’t ready to be married and I had
connected with the wrong person once again.
The greatest struggle however, was being a mom.
There was an obvious lack of connection between
my daughter and I. I didn’t know what it meant to
be a mom. All I knew was that I had a child that
needed to be taken care of but I had no clue as to
how I nurture and love this child because I didn’t
have that.
And as He began healing me, He began
restoring things in my life that I had lost.
And once complete healing and restoration
took place, He began helping me walk into
my purpose and passion.
Today I am married to an amazing
husband, and am a mother to three
awesome children. Now I am reaching
back and helping other women and moms
that are struggling with their identity. You
see, the identity crisis is one the most
powerful weapons the enemy uses to get us
off track.
If we allow him to use circumstances,
people, and situations to make us believe
that we are the opposite of everything God
created us to be, then we will struggle to
fulfill the call God has on our life.
I have learned many valuable lessons
along the way. But as you continue your
journey through life, remember three
things:
It seemed like I was constantly losing in life. I was
pretty broken. I experienced a lot of hurt and pain.
I felt life had dealt me some pretty bad blows. I
struggled with abandonment. I struggled with
rejection. I struggled with feeling worthy.
• God cannot pour new wine into old
wineskins. There are many things from
your past that you must learn to let go.
Don’t resurrect things that are meant to be
dead. Remember Lot’s wife.
I felt like I wasn’t meant to ever be a wife. I hated
being a mom because I sucked at it. I spent the first
half of my life trying to be something that I wasn’t
because I didn’t know who I truly was.
• All is never lost with God. He is a restorer.
He will restore all things unto you. Yes even the things we forfeited on our own.
He makes ALL things new.
It wasn’t until I got to truly know Christ that things
began changing for me. I finally learned just how
much God loves me and in learning how much He
loves me, I learned who He created me to be. And
as I began learning my true identity, God began
healing me in every place I was broken.
• Being a mother and/or a wife is a call. God
will never call you to something that He
never equipped you for even when it looks
like it wa s a mistake.
Be encouraged in the Lord. And never give
up. Your latter shall be greater than your
former!
FAITH HEART MAGAZINE l 43