learning styles , dietary needs , temperaments and spiritual gifts within our ( church ) communities . I advocate we recognize the motherhood story of other women can read very differently from our own experience , without being wrong or unbiblical , and God ’ s journey for her and her family is at the core of these differences . The essence of all these myths is we should all be the same . This is the myth that needs to be debunked first . The beauty of our diversity deserves a second look !
In your new book , you describe yourself as an ( un ) Natural mom . What is an ( un ) Natural mom , and doesn ’ t every mom feel that way at some time or another ? Absolutely . I am an ( un ) natural Mom because even though I wanted and planned to have children , when they arrived , I often doubted my abilities and made many serious mistakes that made me wonder if perhaps I should never have had children or if my children should have had a different mother . Nurturing instincts , the joy of breastfeeding and many other indicators of the so-called “ Natural Mom ” just passed me by . It took a while to notice I was not alone . Every mom wants to be able to admit some aspect of motherhood did not come naturally and not all motherhood duties brought her fulfilment , but society — even our church community — frowns on this confession . The ( un ) Natural Mom book gives you permission to admit this and to find what you ARE natural at !
You categorize ( un ) Natural moms in four categories , comparing each to a tree . Why did you use a tree analogy ? The Tall Trees Parenting Profile actually recognizes 14 possible tree types , but there are four main categories that can combine very diversely in the makeup of each person . Hardly anyone is a clear-cut “ type .” Boxes and labels can be harmful and even offensive . In my research about temperament and personality I came across labels I wouldn ’ t want to wear , but still , labels are part of how we gain understanding of one another . “ Mother ,” “ teacher ,” “ Christian ,” “ vegetarian ,” “ recovered alcoholic ” or “ engineer ” are all labels that can help me anticipate , consider and embrace the needs of others .
The tree analogy wants to do this . It wants to recognize diversity first . No two trees are alike , after all ! It wants to acknowledge we can grow and change , look different when planted in sun or shade , go through seasons , mature and be more fruitful in our natural environment and less fruitful when we ’ re outside of our “ sweet spot .”
When I know your natural design I can support you , love you and defend you when the world tries to bend you out of shape . I can adjust my expectations to what you can naturally contribute as a parent . The profile included in the book is therefore a relational and survival tool , not a diagnosis or a limiting label . It can be compared to the label on a shrub you buy from a nursery that tells you to plant it in semi-shade or full sun , water it once a week or daily , and which color flowers to expect . By calling you a particular tree type or combination , we say you aren ’ t a fruit salad tree . You don ’ t need to be great at everything . We each have specific fruit according to our design . This design is not flawed . It is purposed , valuable and to be embraced .
What are the four categories of trees ? Why are some people a hybrid of more than one tree ? The Tall Trees Parenting Profile is based on the many fourfold personality theories found in literature , studies of personality , behavioral and learning styles , and observations of parenting practice . At the heart of the T2P2 are four tree types : Palm Tree , Rose Bush , Pine Tree and Boxwood Tree . Palm Trees are jovial individuals with a love for people and the exciting opportunities life offers . They help us stay mindful of the bright side of life . I associate them with beach parties and exotic vacations .
Rose Bushes are born pioneers who tend to lead the way their way . Fast and determined , they ensure nobody stagnates . Their roses are proof of their productive drive , while their thorns represent their tendency to be painfully honest .
Pine Trees balance out these extroverted tree types by being all about peace and harmony . Don ’ t pines even smell of peace and calmness ? They provide the safe places and listening ears .
Boxwood Trees are the quality controllers . Like the perfectly pruned plants , they aspire to fitting the mold . They believe there is one right way to everything ,