Faith Filled Family Magazine November 2016 - Page 34

As our relationship continued , I noticed something strange . I never felt peace inside . I was continually nervous , I questioned the stability of our relationship , I even started to develop physical changes to my body due to the stress of the relationship . We weren ’ t arguing , we didn ’ t have disagreements , the fight was mostly within myself . Why was the thing that I wanted most for years , the very thing that was bringing me down ? After some time had passed , the dreaded words came . “ You don ’ t deserve this , you deserve better than me ,” he said . He continued to coat his words with other phrases such as , “ If it ’ s meant to be , it will be ” and “ If it ’ s God ’ s plan , we will find our way back together .” I clung to those words , and for some time I actually thought he meant them . Once the emotions faded , though , logic had to settle within my thoughts .
At first I was frustrated with God . Why would He give me exactly what I wanted just to strip it from my hands ? Why would He lead me to this man ? I was seeking Him full-heartedly , why wouldn ’ t He lead me directly to “ the one ?” I had my moment ; I remained bitter with Him for a little while and repeatedly asked these questions . Then , after coming to my senses , I had to let logic overrule my emotions . While doing so , I discovered some things about my circumstance , myself , and God .
First , God was not being a cruel father that handed me the shiniest toy in the store just to return it the next day . Sometimes , though we believe God is being cruel in taking things away from us , He is actually redirecting us to something greater . I would have always wondered , “ what if ” when it came to a relationship with this man . Now I knew . Second , I had to evaluate the emotions that I had felt during the relationship . Was I at peace ? No . Did I feel the way God destined His daughter to feel in a relationship ? No . Were the physical signs in my body such as stress , fatigue , or weight loss signs of a happy life ? No , they weren ’ t . Lastly , could God have just been spoiling me enough to give me a taste of what I would have always questioned , just to settle my wandering mind ? Of course He would , cause He is a good , good Father . God will sometimes give us exactly what we wanted , just to show us that it is exactly what we didn ’ t need .
Sometimes , we get so caught up in our emotions and frustrations of another heartbreak , another failed attempt , that we forget God is guiding our footsteps . Proverbs 3:5-6 declares , “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart ; do not depend on your own understanding . Seek his will in all you do , and he will show you which path to take .” Our understanding doesn ’ t always make sense . That is why the word of the Lord says , “ For my thoughts are not your thoughts , neither are your ways my ways ” Isaiah 55:8 . God knows , we do not need to . Yes , on the harder days we let our minds wander why things did not work out the way that we had planned . We see down the road , but God sees around the bend .
Around my bend was much greater than what I planned just down the road . I planned I would be with this man , I was sure of it . And when it did not work out , I blamed God for the lack of caring for my heart . Though what my Father had planned for me , was much better . I began pursuing a relationship with another man , one I had known but had not seen for twenty years . The night I had met him I expected uncomfortable feelings , the “ new ” awkwardness , and the fear of the unknown . But something happened when we met eye to eye , and when this man embraced me with a hug , I felt a peace as if I was always supposed to find the spot that I was finally in . And I had been loved by a man unlike ever before .
You see , this isn ’ t just a love story or about fairytale endings , it ’ s so much more than that . It ’ s about trusting God with your heart , because He is going to place it within the best hands . Wait on Him , trust Him , be patient with Him ; because He truly does have your best interest at heart . If you are healing from a breakup , going through one currently , or maybe you relate to the pain of a broken heart that has healed some time ago , know that your heavenly Father has ordained each step and each person in your life . There ’ s a reason , even if you don ’ t understand it . He ’ s a strategical , detailed God . Trust Him . His ways are higher , His methods are wiser , His plans are better , and His love is much , much greater .
As our relationship continued, I noticed something strange. I never felt peace inside. I was continually nervous, I questioned the stability of our relationship, I even started to develop physical changes to my body due to the stress of the relationship. We weren’t arguing, we didn’t have disagreements, the fight was mostly within myself. Why was the thing that I wanted most for years, the very thing that was bringing me down? After some time had passed, the dreaded words came. “You don’t deserve this, you deserve better than me,” he said. He continued to coat his words with other phrases such as, “If it’s meant to be, it will be” and “If it’s God’s plan, we will find our way back together.” I clung to those words, and for some time I actually thought he meant them. Once the emotions faded, though, logic had to settle within my thoughts. At first I was frustrated with God. Why would He give me exactly what I wanted just to strip it from my hands? Why would He lead me to this man? I was seeking Him full-heartedly, why wouldn’t He lead me directly to “the one?” I had my moment; I remained bitter with Him for a little while and repeatedly asked these questions. Then, after coming to my senses, I had to let logic overrule my emotions. While doing so, I discovered some things about my circumstance, myself, and God. First, God was not being a cruel father that handed me the shiniest toy in the store just to return it the next day. Sometimes, though we believe God is being cruel in taking things away from us, He is actually redirecting us to something greater. I would have always wondered, “what if” when it came to a relationship with this man. Now I knew. Second, I had to evaluate the emotions that I had felt during the relationship. Was I at peace? No. Did I feel the way God destined His daughter to feel in a relationship? No. Were the physical signs in my body such as stress, fatigue, or weight loss signs of a happy life? No, they weren’t. Lastly, could God have just been spoiling me enough to give me a taste of what I would have always questioned, just to settle my wandering mind? Of course He would, cause He is a good, good Father. God will sometimes give us exactly what we wanted, just to show us that it is exactly what we didn’t need. be with this man, I was sure of it. And when it did not work out, I blamed God for the lack of caring for my heart. Though what my Father had planned for me, was much better. I began pursuing a relationship with another man, one I had known but had not seen for twenty years. The night I had met him I expected uncomfortable feelings, the “new” awkwardness, and the fear of the unknown. But something happened when we met eye to eye, and when this man embraced me with a hug, I felt a peace as if I was always supposed to find the spot that I was finally in. And I had been loved by a man unlike ever before. You see, this isn’t just a love story or about fairytale endings, it’s so much more than that. It’s about trusting God with your heart, Sometimes, we get so caught because He is going to place it up in our emotions and frustra- within the best hands. Wait on tions of another heartbreak, an- Him, trust Him, be patient with other failed attempt, that we for- Him; because He truly does get God is guiding our footsteps. have your best interest at heart. Proverbs 3:5-6 declares, “Trust If you are healing from a breakin the Lord with all your heart; do up, going through one currently, not depend on your own under- or maybe you relate to the pain standing. Seek his will in all you of a broken heart that has healed do, and he will show you which some time ago, know that your path to take.” Our understand- heavenly Father has ordained ing doesn’t always make sense. each step and each person in That is why the word of the Lord your life. There’s a reason, even says, “For my thoughts are not if you don’t understand it. He’s a your thoughts, neither are your strategi [ ]Z[Y \^\^H^\'H\ZXZ MN [K\^\\HY\\šۛHYYˈY\Y]\H\\\[›ۈH\\^\H]\\H]\[\ݙH\]X Z[[\H[Y]XܙX]\ܚ]H^H]HY[Y HYHۈHY ]Y\\[H[ \[^H[\]XܙX]\[]H[Y\ۈHY H[YH[