• In Proverbs 4:23 and Philippians 4:6-8, we are advised
to guard our hearts, because
everything we do flows from it.
For our teens, it means protecting their hearts from damage,
lust, greed, and rebellion. When
it comes to dating, their hearts
are fragile. It’s important to keep
a relationship focused on God,
allowing Him to work instead of
the hormones. For us as parents, it means keeping a cool
head and a discerning heart as
we help our kids navigate the
dating scene in this turbulent
world.
• Proverbs 4:1-10 tells our sons
and daughters to listen to parents’ wise instruction because
it will save them from a host of
problems and set them in a place
of honor. As parents, according
to Ephesians 6:2-4 and Colossians 3:20-21, we are charged
to not cause our children resentment neither to discourage
them. We can certainly make it
easier for them to obey us and
receive our instruction if we consider their needs and concerns
as very important to them.
• Proverbs 3:5-7 and Matthew
6:33, says to seek the Kingdom
of God and to Trust in the Lord,
because our own understanding
is limited. Teens will learn this by
watching us, to see whether we
prayerfully seek God’s wisdom
or not and His responses.
The time our teens use to seek a
future spouse is a very important
one. Prayer from the time we
hold them in our arms as newborns for the future godly mate
God has for him or her is essential. We can be assured the Holy
Spirit’s discernment has been
invited into our decision-making.
How we help them in that pro-
cess is an awesome responsibility.
Dating choices fall into these
categories: solo date, group
dates, chaperoned dates, and
courtship. When most people
think of chaperoned dates, the
renewed version of the age old
practice of courtship comes
to mind. Josh Harris, author
of “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” brought courtship into
vogue with Christians in the
late 1990’s. Most families later
shunned this notion because
they believed it was too controlling. More Christians seem
to be turning to chaperoned
dating instead to help prevent
their teens’ dating relationships
from hurtling headlong into bed.
Others feel solo or group dating
shows teens they trust their
ability to behave appropriately
as well as judge the character of their dates. The primary
concerns voiced by Christian
parents are about physical
safety, sexual purity, and deep
emotional pain which can come
with dating. Should you accompany your son or daughter on
their dates? It is definitely worth
consideration.
What is
dating?
the
purpose
of
Most Christians agree the
objective for dating is to find
the right person to marry someday. Of all the people our teens
meet, most of their potential
dates will usually come from
school, youth group, or another
school close by. It takes our
guidance with time to learn how
to choose someone who loves
the Lord and honors Him. They
need our feedback to help
them see more than meets the
eye in their dates. They need our
example to learn how to relate to
the opposite sex appropriately.
Watching our marriages informs
them about how to treat a possible mate. We need to partner
with them to set up safeguards
so they are able to keep their
hormones under control and
not make decisions they would
regret later. We set a protective
fence to help them learn about
male-female relationships. How
we decided to guide them can
be different for each family.
Some parents prefer to coach
from home while others prefer to
coach more directly at the dating
scene.
Modern Approach to Dating
with Wisdom
Modern dating revolves around
the attraction of a young man
and a young woman. Attraction is mostly visual and definitely hormonal. God’s design
for romantic relationships starts
with a look. It’s the hormonal
part that scares parents! This
is why the dad mentioned earlier took a unique approach to
weed out some of his daughter’s suitors. It’s not just the girls
who need protected, though,
the boys do too. Maybe we can
maneuver through this stage of
life less aggressively than this
dad. Since “love is blind”, many
young people sadly discover
after the “I do’s” they married the
wrong person or the right person
for the wrong reasons. Teaming up in your son or daughter’s
dating life can help them see
character traits they may miss
on solo dates. Most of the work
we do as parents is teaching
them what respect for the oppo-