Preparing The
Next Generation
as
Godly Leaders
By Dr. Stan DeKoven, PhD, MFT
A
very popular song
of the 60’s rang out
“for the times, they
are a changing.”
Well, change is inevitable in life,
and many changes that pertain
to parenting today are for the
good…but many not so good.
For example, corporal punishment, a standard of discipline
for bible believing parents is not
the first line of discipline anymore, as we have learned that
anger and aggression (which
should not be a part of corporal
punishment, but often is) is not
essential to be a good parent
who disciplines his or her children. On the negative (and they
are fairly easy to see) includes
modern technology interfering
with human interaction, television espousing a view that all
parents are dumb and kids the
cleaver ones, etc.
Being a couple can be difficult
enough, let alone a parent. In
healthy homes, a new child
becomes a joyful expression
of the couples love and devotion to one another. However,
in less functional relationships,
the baby can become one or
the other parents’ primary relationship. Usually, if they have
a second child, a split in the
attention towards the children
will occur. In this scenario,
one parent will focus time and
attention on one child; where
as the other child receives the
attention of the other parent.
Thus one will have mom’s child
and dad’s child. This split, if it
occurs (and many are not total
splits, but often there is a switching back and forth, or the split
can be to a greater or lesser
degree) they will function that
way for the next twenty years.
If there’s a third child, often one
will find he or she becoming a
lost child. In some cases the
middle child may become the
lost child, becoming displaced
by the new baby in the family.
More often than not the dad will
primarily bond with a daughter
and mom with a son. When
this tragic change in the primary relationship occurs (the