Circle of Influence
Are Your Children Making Wise
Decisions in Choosing Friends?
By Bobbie Schaeperkoetter
G
rowing up, I had the most wonderful
best friend. There was something so
wholesome and special about her and
about her family. My friend was a good
girl and she came from a loving and stable home.
She lived about a mile down the gravel road from
me. Nearly every day, we would start walking,
each from our own end of the dusty road, and
meet in the middle at the creek that ran between
our houses. If we weren’t at the creek, we were
running around her farm or sprawled on the floor
of her upstairs living room using the furniture as
our Barbie’s dream house.
When my sweet friend came into my life, my parents had just gone through a difficult divorce and I
was struggling. My family is wonderful, but at that
time in my life, all I could see was the breakdown
of what I had always known.
With the divorce, my family had moved to a new
home in a new town. All of the changes were
tough on me and that was evident in my behavior, both at school and at home. I was sassy and
rebellious. I took all of my hurt and anger and
turned it out towards my family. I acted out at
school for attention from the teachers and new
friends. In the midst of all of that, I was drawn to
this friend who was so very different from me. In
fact, I vividly remember my dear friend telling me
that her parents were worried about her spending
time with me because I wasn’t the best influence
on her.
Regardless of the orneriness that I showed, my
friend’s family eventually welcomed me in with
open arms. Her family became like another family
to me. Her mom and dad treated me like one of
their own. Her mom taught me a lot about being a
good wife and mama. Her big brother treated me
just like the pesky little sister that I seemed to be.
Her dad even made sure to keep me in line and
made sure I was behaving myself. And that best
friend, who loved me when I was a tad unlovable,
is still my best friend today.
This is a friendship that I still treasure nearly 30
years later. I will be forever grateful for my friend
and for her parents who decided to invest time
and love into me despite all of the turmoil that I
was going through and that I was inflicting on the
people around me. My dear friend and her family
had more influence on me as a young girl than just
about anyone else. They came along side me and
helped me to grow beyond that maladjusted girl
and mature into the woman I am today.
Now that I have children of my own, I look back at
that time and the impact that this precious family
had on my life and I realize how very blessed that
I was. I could have so easily gotten involved with
the wrong people. Instead, I found a friend and a
surrogate family to encourage me down a better
path than the one I was starting out on.
As a mama, I am so mindful of the types of relationships that my children have. I know from personal
experience how much friendships can influence
us. This morning I was reading in 1 Thessalonians
chapter 1 and the verses there just really grabbed
ahold of my heart. Paul is writing to the church
at Thessalon ica and he talks about the influence