children, many Christians have
gone the other way; disciplining their children for everything!
Discipline defined by many as
the right and need to punish, not
the biblical mandate to train and
teach. The scripture states that
parents are to train and teach
in the morning, during the day,
at night, as they walk along the
way. Meaning, it is in the precious yet common daily interactions of life, played out over time
and experience that provide the
greatest opportunity to teach
children the important issues
of life. The very things that are
emphasized by the parents will
become the important items of
emphasis to the children as they
mature.
children reach maturity, they are
not going to depart from what
they’ve learned as children.
Thus, it is most important to train
children in such a way that they
will grow to maturity, becoming
responsible, functional adults.
Taking them by the hand, the
parent leads the precious child
to the bathtub, helping them out
of their clothes, while simultaneously filling the tub with appropriately warm water, putting them
in the tub and assisting them in
the washing ritual. The child is
Now notice it says, “Train up a rarely consulted in this process,
child.” Parents are to train young nor should they be. This is how
children, but teach older children to train them in this important life
and adults. A definition by way skill. The parent might state as
of illustration may be in order. If they lead in the training “Here
a parent is going to attempt to you put soap on the washcloth,
teach a four-year-old, they will and then you begin to wash,
become extremely frustrated. etc.” As the parent leads, they
Teaching is a didactic process begin to “learn” what is demonliterally meaning to impart infor- strated to them.
mation to that individual so that
they can then act upon it. Four- What happens in many families
year-olds do not act upon what is that some training happens
they hear; they act upon what when children are very young,
Train and Teach
they feel or what has been dem- but eventually the exhausted
onstrated to them.
parents run out of energy. This
Proverbs 22:6 is a very famous
is especially true when a second
and often quoted by parents A Training Example
child arrives and the first one is
with wayward children passage
still in diapers. The parental priof scripture. The verse reads, If you have a four or five-year-old ority naturally shifts from the first
“Train up a child in the way he child, and you want to train them child to the second, while the first
should go, even when he is old, how to take a bath, you certainly child has to move ahead on their
he will not depart from it.” Some would not have them sit down on merry way, attempting to figure
have used this passage as a the couch with you sitting across out how to live life with limited
proof that their child will become from them and explain to them guidance. Thus, parents often
born again, but this is not its the importance of cleanliness. If end the training process too
meaning within proper biblical you attempted this, as parents soon. This problem, that of not
context.
often do, you might say, “Now, being able to complete the trainyou do understand what your ing aspect of children is made
A better interpretation would be peers are going to think if you worse when there is an absent
that whatever a parent programs stink. It is very important that or ineffectual father in the home,
into a child when they are young you take a shower at least three when illness occurs, etc. There
will eventually be seen in the chil- times a week because body odor is a certain amount of training
dren. In other words, when they is bad, you could get germs, etc.” that will continue until they leave
become adults, they will tend to How long will it take into that con- home, but it becomes less trainrepeat what they have learned versation before the child is pick- ing and more teaching.
within the family of origin. They ing lint out of his navel? They
will follow and do the same are not going to hear a word A Shifting
things that they have seen their being said. If it were time to
parents do. What a frightening instruct a child on how to take a A shift needs to begin at approxithought! This is why behaviors bath, the most effective method mately age 8-10, from simple
from the past are often repeated would be to simply take the child concrete teaching (do this
in the children’s present. When by the wrist and say, “let’s go.” because I said so), to teaching