Faith Filled Family Magazine January 2017 - Page 56

WINNING IS EVERYTHING

But At What Cost ? BY JOHN LYSAUGHT

Growing up in a violent

drug house , I saw firsthand the extremes of what arguments between spouses could lead to . Even though the arguments were fueled by drugs and alcohol , the results were always the same- someone was injured and the police were called . Yet , there are more examples of arguing between spouses which are subtler , used with hurting words and not fists . Regardless of if words or hands are used to fight in a relationship , there is no winner , only hurt hearts and animosity .
Who doesn ’ t like to win ? People play games to win . People compete in sports to win . When people argue , they want to win , too . It is not bad to want to win when playing games or sports , but to win an argument for arguments sake can be touchy , especially if the other person is your spouse . When arguing with your spouse , egos and emotions seem to seep in and can turn a minor issue into a contentious barraging argument where using words to hurt or demean the other is used to make a point . In the end , though , even if the argument was won , the hurt and anger from the words used make a mark on the relationship with a spouse hurting emotionally . This is no way to live . This is not the way to a happy and enduring marriage .
When couples fight , there really are no winners , never . Both husband and wife will be upset and will have ill will towards the other after a fight , even if one of them won the argument . And let ’ s be real here , too . Verbal fighting can lead to physical altercations . This can be you . It may be happening to a friend or to another family member and this happens to nonbelievers and believers alike . Whether fighting uses only words or words coupled with physical contact , the effect on the marriage is long lasting and the effects on children in the home leaves a stain in their