Faith Filled Family Magazine January 2017 - Page 40

Married ...

And Dating !


So you did everything in your power to get one another ’ s attention , found out as much as possible about the other , and showered each other with gifts . You completed your action research . You discovered what makes each other happy or sad , confident or not . You ’ ve discussed each other ’ s goals in life and worked together to determine if you two fit like a glove . Your yeses were followed by “ I do ” and “ I will ,” and the two of you became Mr . and Mrs .
You might be inclined to sit back and relax because you can say , “ Mission accomplished . I got the guy [ or the woman ] I wanted . Now is the time to just get on with my life .” That would be a mistake . Around “ 40-50 percent of married couples divorce ” ( American Psychological Association , apa . org / topics / divorce ).
If a spouse believes that all the work in a male / female relationship occurs before the marriage , the couple may never make it to their diamond jubilee . If truth be told , the only time you really know your partner is when you ’ re sharing a home and a bed . The real work doesn ’ t commence when you ’ re trying to impress . It begins after the routines of life set in , when you go to work daily and come home to burnt food , dirty dishes , crying children , spousal conflict .
When two people get married , two histories unite , two cultures , two perspectives , two personalities . The only way to make the relationship work is to work the relationship and that takes time and effort . This is where couple time comes in with no distractions . No cell phones . No television . No children . Just the two of you . The way it was when you first met .
This is time set aside to continue dating your partner . Each of you are growing daily . You develop new interests , new attitudes , sometimes new beliefs . You encounter and respond to new experiences . These experiences can affect your thinking , your likes , and dislikes . The goal in a relationship is to grow together . The worst scenario is one partner is growing and the other has no idea of the newness the other is experiencing .
When you take time to share a book , an article , a job experience , a movie , a song , a thought , you enrich the conversation and the