Faith Filled Family Magazine January 2017 - Page 32
of understanding God ’ s true design for our sexuality . It is easy to look around and see the objectification of women and an increasing pornographic culture that often misleads us to conclude that all men are “ pigs ” and only want one thing . The other myth that is quite commonly thrown around is that women are not interested in sex . In saying that “ men want it all the time ” and “ women aren ’ t interested in sex ” suggests a serious fundamental incompatibility that surely could not exist if we truly root ourselves in God ’ s plan for man and woman . These conclusions are also harmful as they can lead to shame on part of a woman who may have a very strong interest in sexual intimacy . It is not only mythological for us to assume that “ men want sex all the time ” it is also inaccurate . The more we can immerse ourselves in conversing openly about our true needs and understandings of intimacy the more free each partner can feel to be themselves without shame or fear . The further that one veers from the authentic self-giving beauty of marital love ( as God designed it ) the more apt one becomes to experience feelings of use , manipulation , and upset . The challenge is trying to live out the beautiful gift of sexuality in a way that is fruitful and reflective of true intimacy . It is by a distorting of our understanding of this that we can often go astray . As Christians we strive to teach our children , and have also been taught about abstinence . However , the degree that this has been discussed may often vary due to it ’ s sensitive nature .
Today ’ s world and increasing exposure of sexuality in a very vulgar and “ in your face way ” demands more than this often vague addressing . If we honestly desire the Christian concept of striving to remain pure to be lived out and presented to our young men and women in a successful way it must be discussed beyond grazing over Bible verses . If we can instill from a young age the true teachings of our sexuality then it will allow for a healthier marital relationship and one that does not compromise the other or lead to feelings of repression . I often give presentations on the virtue of chastity which is not particularly discussed at large , but it so incredibly needed if we
are to reconcile this concept of intimacy and a healthy expression of one ’ s sexuality . Chastity has been explained to me briefly as ‘ the strength to use sexuality according to God ’ s plan for it .” The word strength is fitting because it implies that it is not an easy thing to do . It also alludes to something that is ongoing .
Chastity ( living in accordance to God ’ s plan for our sexuality ) extends beyond a declaration of NO to sex before marriage , but is an ongoing experience of striving for sexual purity in many ways , even as Christians in marriage . Chastity in marriage is a perpetual experience of examining the heart and mind . It requires the continual weighing of the most hidden intentions to truly know what the root of the motive is behind one ’ s desire , and if it is truly rooted in the good of the other or born of lust . The abstinence teaching can appear to be rigid and filled with sentiments of repression if it is not related with the freedom it is meant