Faith Filled Family Magazine January 2017 - Page 30
this affair start ? Did it start when they finally consummated their relationship in the hotel room – when sex became part of the equation ? I would argue that it began when their conversations became intimate , and they become emotionally involved with each other . Jesus , who , as part of the Godhead , had wisdom beyond our human capacity , said , “ But I say to you that every man who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart .” ( Matthew 5:28 ). Just as anger is a precursor to murder , unbridled emotions are a precursor to an affair . In fact , Jesus equates them : he calls them the same thing .
In our politically correct society , we make a habit of making things that are wrong into equivocations : we excuse immoral behavior because of the degree of participation of the parties involved . Teenagers often have oral sex , as opposed to vaginal sex , because to them , it is not the same thing : In the mind of the teenagers , they have safely avoided doing anything wrong . Yet ,
“… the majority of teenagers [ abstain ] from sexual intercourse [ but not necessarily ] sexual activity . The data also suggests that increased condom use , which many so-called ‘ safe-sex ’ advocates champion , is not the best solution when it comes to protecting against sexually transmitted diseases .” ( Daly , 2011 )
There is a lie being perpetrated among young people about what sex really is , and the consequences of sexual behavior in any form , which , obviously are the chance that the young woman will become pregnant , or that both with contract a sexually transmitted disease .
In the same vein , adults equivocate about what they consider an affair . It is too easy to say that an affair begins when sexual intercourse becomes involved . This gives way to euphemizing the definition of an affair . Human beings were designed by God to have relationships : not only with God , but with each other . One particular relationship that God ordained was marriage . God says of marriage , “ This is the reason that a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife , and they become one flesh .” Genesis 2:24 ( CBE , 2011 ) When a man and a woman become one flesh , what is implied is that they are both joined physically and spiritually , and by inference , emotionally . Humans are more than animals who mate purely out of instinct and never think of being faithful to one mate , although this occasionally happens . According to the Mother Nature Network , “… although monogamy and lifelong pair bonds are generally rare in the animal kingdom , there are some animals that pull it off .” In fact , according to that article , there are eleven species that practice such monogamy . ( Nelson , 2016 )
The point is , that God ordained faithfulness in marriage , and this takes work . You must practice being both physically faithful , but more importantly , emotionally faithful . Paul , in his letter to the Ephesians says , “ As for husbands , love your wives just like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her . That ’ s how husbands ought to love their wives — in the same way as they do their own bodies . Anyone who loves his wife loves himself . No one ever hates his own body , but feeds it and takes care of it just like Christ does for the church ...” Ephesians 5:24 , 28- 29 ( CBE , 2011 ). We as men are charged to love our wives just as we would our own bodies . To paraphrase it , we need to make sure we always take care of our spouses completely : physically and emotionally . If either of these elements is missing , the relationship suffers . Christ ’ s love for us is always faithful and never falters . When one spouse lets his or her emotions go to someone other than his or her spouse , the marriage is already on rocky ground . James Taylor ’ s song , “ Don ’ t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight ,” expresses the essence of emotional desertion :
“ Go away , then […] Go on and do as you please . You ain ’ t gonna see me getting down on my knees . I ’ m undecided and your heart ’ s been divided ; You ’ ve been turning my world upside down
There is a natural tendency when an affair happens for one spouse or the other not so much to question the infidelity , but rather to ask , “ What do you feel for him / her ?” ( Penn , 2012 ). If you are a movie fan , the question asked is usually , “ Do you love him / her ?” The issue is more about the emotional infidelity than the physical infidelity . The