gatherings . In cases of abuse or other harmful behavior , parents and even authorities should be contacted , however , in a normal loving marriage with common disputes and idiosyncrasies , parents should not be complained to by either spouse . Accountability partners , trusted confidants and even spiritual leaders would be more suitable sounding boards , under most circumstances .
AVOID FACTIONS
1 Corinthians 11:18-19 For , in the first place , when you come together as a church , I hear that there are divisions among you . And I believe it in part , for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized .
The church is mandated to avoid factions , and marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church . Just as a faction is harmful within the church , it can be quite destructive within the confines of intimacy found in a marriage . When marriage partners complain to parents about their spouse , a faction is formed . A faction aligns two or more parties against another , which in a marriage relationship , is a recipe for disaster . Often , the purpose in complaining to a parent is finding someone with whom to commiserate . Marriage is a partnership , any alliance made with a biased third party often undermines the cohesion needed for a successful union . One of the most well known instances of a child complaining to a parent about a spouse is in the Garden of Eden . After Adam , the son of God , willingly sinned , he complained to his father about Eve , his wife . “ The woman , you gave to be with me gave me the fruit ...” Adam was attempting to deflect his Father ’ s disfavor by complaining about his wife , hoping God would side with him over Eve .
Mark 10:7 ‘ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife ,
God ’ s design for marriage is to create a new family unit in which the influence of parents are no longer primary , where husband and wife confide in , support and build up one another .
Also , involving a parent in marital tension can be counterproductive to a marriage at it ’ s fundamental core . Ephesians 5:22 - Wives , submit to your own husbands , as to the Lord .
Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands , love your wives , as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ,
If a wife is complaining about her husband to a parent , she is , at that moment , transferring her husband ’ s authority to her parent . Similarly , when a husband complains to his parents about his wife , he is not demonstrating sacrificial love as he is potentially harming her character .
When a person goes to a disinterested third party for advice or perspective on a marital situation , constructive advice may be shared or a different viewpoint given . A parent will find it very difficult to be objective and may cause more harm than good , even with the best of intentions . When a dispute or disagreement arises within a marriage , the best way to honor the commands of Ephesians is to discuss the matter together and only involve others by mutual consent . Involving others , especially parents , without mutual consent should be a last resort .
INADVERTENTLY RESULTS
NEGATIVE
Most people , when content in marriage , remain quiet and enjoy marital bliss . For this reason , complaining to a parent about a marriage partner may provide a skewed vision of the overall marriage and create an antagonistic atmosphere . A few negative words , spoken in the heat of the moment can become seeds of malcontent waiting to spring up in the future . A husband , in a temporary dispute with his wife , may complain to his mother about her unwillingness to see things his way . Though the dispute may be quickly cleared up and forgotten by husband and wife , the mother of the husband now believes her daughter inlaw is unreasonable and difficult to get along with . This mother ’ s view of her daughter in-law may linger for years and manifest itself in future times of tension , adding angst and turmoil to an already difficult situation .
A person may be 95 % satisfied with his or her spouse , yet , only the 5 % dissatisfaction is vocalize to the parent . What is 5 % to