couple times a week . She has not yet come back to Christ . It hurts my heart to see my daughter living a lifestyle opposed to God . It used to frustrate me and I was militant in my approach in talking to her about Christ and her lifestyle . This aggressive approach only pushed her away and had made her more stubborn in her opposition to Christianity . I have switched my approach in ministering to her because I don ’ t want to push her further away from Christ or put a wedge in our relationship . Wayward children need to know they are loved by their parents and by God . There is a fine line parents must be aware of when dealing with wayward children . Cross that line and you are perceived as ‘ too pushy ’ by your child . The opposite is true as well . There is a fine line on the other side of pushy that can be seen as uncaring which leads to pushing them away . In order to be both an effective parent and witness , you need to end up in between these two extremes .
Fear of a child not living a life for God and not going to heaven is a scary thought . We want nothing more than the best for our children and to protect them as much as possible . We raise them to be good , God-fearing people . At some age , though , our children will venture out on their own , live their own life , and will ultimately have to decide their own salvation fate . We can pray and hope our rearing practices direct them towards God , and we can do our best to keep them involved with Christ through encouragement , but again , their fate is in their hands , not ours .
When we see our children fall from the faith , fear can take over and panic can set in . We send them as much Christian material as possible to remind them of their faith . We call and text , pleading with them to turn back to God . We worry ourselves to exhaustion , running the scenarios through our mind of what might happen ; our imagination looks at the worst-case scenarios . Worrying and fear can push our kids away further because they cause us to react irrationally . They want to be autonomous , to have fun , to experiment with life . They don ’ t want their family to pressure them about something that they want to ignore . If they feel too overwhelmed by your reaction , they will likely avoid communicating with you so they do have to feel bombarded with God-talk and how “ bad ” they are for turning their back to Him . Are they wrong ? Yes . What they are doing and how they are living is wrong , but they probably don ’ t see it that way .
There are parents that push kids away by letting their kids go and “ letting God ”. Essentially , these parents drop their children , turn their back on them and disassociate themselves from their wayward child . This isn ’ t the right way either . Letting your child go with no effort to lead them back to Christ is abandoning them . You raised them right . You took them to church and youth group . Camps , fundraisers , bible stories , worship , were all part of the package when they were growing up . And when they had the first opportunity to express their independence , they grabbed it and turned from God to do their own thing . Some may think that all that investment in time , money , and effort was a waste . In anger , the child is turned over to the world to figure it out on their own , with no support structure to come back to or lean on . In both of these scenarios of pushing away or being too pushy , the distance between parent and child could widen and even become volatile . Everyone loses in both of these scenarios .
I ’ m not a professional counselor or anything like that , but my experiences as a father of four shows me what does happen , what could happen , and ways to work through it . Based on my experience with my own wayward child , the most important thing you can give your child is love . Not pushy love , not ‘ letting them go ’ love , but genuine love and concern . I learned pushing my daughter to God failed and made things worse . I learned letting her go made things worse . I ’ m working on the middle right now and am having some success .
I ’ m gentle with her . I know her mentality and how she reacts to things I say . I can tell by her body language , her gestures , her words , and by her absence . Sit down and talk . Let your child know where you stand on your beliefs , how you feel , and how you don ’ t agree with what they are doing . Ensure they let you speak without interruption . Don ’ t accuse , don ’ t belittle , don ’ t blame . Then let them talk and don ’ t interrupt them . Everyone wants to be heard .
Keep the relationship as close