haling them . Next , using a special diet , they would try to flush out the toxins within . Finally , they would establish a plan to avoid the toxins altogether or wear protective gear if they were compelled to enter the toxic environment in the future .
Toxic relationships are a little trickier to handle . Let ’ s start however by defining terms . “ A toxic relationship is a relationship characterized by behaviors on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and , not infrequently , physically damaging to their partner .” 1 If the behavior of one individual inflicts emotional or physical harm on another , that relationship is toxic .
EFFECTS OF TOXICITY
Toxic relationships are harmful to the mind , emotions and spirit . Anything toxic is poisonous which means that with continued exposure , the toxin can kill . The long-term effect of toxic relationships is pretty much the same . It can kill a person ’ s spirit and drive . Depending on the kind of toxicity a person emits , a toxic relationship can even kill the body .
REMEDY FOR TOXINS .
People usually maintain relationships because they carry emotional , social or economic benefits . But if the tradeoff is toxicity , what ’ s a person compelled to do ? They must halt the exposure . In a relationship , we extricate ourselves from the toxic person as difficult as that might be . We stop calling , stop visiting , or stop interacting .
The book of Proverbs contains advice for how one should conduct oneself in relationships . Some of the advice applies to toxic relationships . Sometimes toxic friends will encourage us to do what is harmful to someone else . They may bully someone and ask you to join in . Proverbs offers simple advice which is relevant to the subject of toxic relationships : “ Do not go along with them / do not set foot on their paths ” ( Proverbs 1:15-16 ). Just like we said earlier the first step is to get away from the toxicity .
EXAMPLES OF TOXIC RELA- TIONSHIPS
As parents , sometimes we inadvertently throw our children out of the safety net of a Christian environment , and toss them into a cesspool of toxicity all in the name of getting ahead in life . Their faith can be attacked while living in the dorm or sitting in a classroom . The temptation by dorm mates or classmates to lure our child away from living their faith can be relentless . What ’ s a parent to do in such a situation besides pray ?
Parents have to take a good look at their children to determine whether they have the spiritual backbone to withstand faitheroding exposure . Do they even know what they believe ? Is there a community of Christians on or near campus to help buttress their faith ? To help them avoid or filter out the toxicity ? Are our children willing to join these groups or start one themselves ? The best way to keep toxins out is to be able to recognize them and to avoid them . As stated in Proverbs , “ It ’ s useless to set a snare in the sight of any bird .” ( 1:17 ) If the bird sees the snare , it will surely avoid flying in its direction . For our children to avoid toxic friendships , we have to prepare them to be like the bird in Proverbs--vigilant , discerning and agile . They will recognize toxicity and garner the strength and agility to flee from it .
Remember the story about Joan Crawford ’ s life written by her adopted daughter Christina ? She begins the story with a fastidious mother who obsessed about cleanliness . By the time , Christina is 10 years old , a neurotic Joan emerges who is an exacting , strict disciplinarian . When she cuts off her daughter ’ s hair because she imitated her mother ’ s acting style , we know , without a doubt , they are in a toxic relationship . As the movie progresses , more evidence unfolds , and although it may have been produced in the 1980s , the topic is a big issue these days . Google the subject and fifteen pages of articles will result . When Christina Crawford was able to live on her own , she created distance from the toxic relationship .
Toxic relationships exist between parent and child , husband and wife , supervisor and subordinate , one friend and another . They occur in Christian and non-Christian homes . Joan Crawford ’ s relationship with her second husband was toxic . He felt compelled to grant her every wish even if it was beyond his financial means to do it . The stress was so overwhelming , it caused his death .