Faith Filled Family Magazine December 2016 | Page 87

two of you can enjoy some intimate time, your husband may
not realize his lack of help in the
kitchen or getting the kids to bed
does nothing to endear him to
you. But if you do not explain in
a rational manner how much you
feel loved when he helps, then
he will likely never get it.
No more of thinking, “If he loved
me he would know what I need.”
He doesn’t know. You get to
teach him. So, love him enough
to tell him what you need. Then
love him enough to forgive him
when he forgets or doesn’t measure up to your expectations.

struggle with self-worship. In this
state of self-love, we are susceptible to think, “I deserve for my
husband to put my needs above
his own.” But we often neglect to
have the same mindset toward
the way we minister to our husband’s needs.
The only way to guard against
having a distorted sense of
love and self-worth is to have
a healthy personal relationship
with Jesus. When you determine
to find your joy in Christ, you will
be set free from keeping track of
who is making more sacrifices
for the relationship.

Loving Christ with all of your being is the key. It’s not about focusing on “how can I be more
selfless.” Rather, when we fix
our eyes on Jesus and are capYour book helps women un- tivated by His love, then He is
derstand how closely related free to love through us with His
our marriages are to our re- selfless love. This kind of serving
lationship with the Lord. You love spills out of our hearts and
help us see that ministering onto those around us. And it is
to our husband’s needs (even not a doormat type of thing. No,
when we feel ours are being it is following Jesus’ example of
neglected), is living a life in washing the disciples’ feet.
godly worship. But it is not an
easy thing to do. How impor- How can a wife arrive at a
tant is it to be selfless in mar- place of “unconditional reriage and to put our husband’s spect” for her husband when
she feels he is undeserving of
needs above our own?
God created you with a need her respect? What are some
to be loved and feel significant. practical ways she can begin
But He never intended you to right where she is?
fulfill those desires through mar- Just as deeply as wives long to
riage. Rather He wants to fulfill be loved without condition, husthe longings of your heart with bands desire to receive unconditional respect from their wives. It
Himself.
is God who made us with these
The problem is that sin stole unique longings. Women tend to
away mankind’s desire for in- nurture and mother the people
timacy with the Creator. And they care about. But your husnow, because of your sin—and band doesn’t need a mom. He
mine—we focus on self and wants a wife who believes in him,
Spending the rest of our married
lives helping each other learn
how show love to each other is
the mark of a healthy marriage.

relies on him, and celebrates his
accomplishments.
When a man feels disrespected
by his wife he tends to pull away
and not show her the love she
craves. When a wife does not
feel loved by her husband she
will respond by being disrespectful to her husband.
All it takes is one person in the
marriage to make the first move
toward meeting the other’s Godgiven need. My husband and I
have watched failing marriages
turn around when a wife determines to obey God’s mandate to
show her husband unconditional
respect.
Practically, showing your husband respect means:
• Don’t correct him in front of the
children
• Don’t talk about him behind his
back to your kids or to others
• Celebrate his accomplishments
and tell him what you respect
about his success
• Don’t bring up his mistakes.
Men learn from their mistakes,
but a wife who respects her husband by not demeaning or embarrassing him is a wife a husband will certainly treasure.
What would you say to the
woman who has experienced
the ultimate betrayal of infidelity in her marriage due to
her husband’s poor choices?
What hope would you say
there is for restoration? How
can she begin to love her husband again after such heartbreak?
First off, I would say, “I am so
very sorry yo u have endured this