true happiness and we will learn to love our husbands — and our children , with His perfect , selfless love . And we will have no regrets .
Your book deals with marriage in the traditional sense , the way God intended . However , we know there are couples who choose to live together prior to getting married . What would you say to a woman who thinks living together first is a good idea ? What are some of the great benefits of going about it God ’ s way ? The first thing I would address is that God is the one who designed marriage . He is also the one who created sexual intimacy to be enjoyed in the marriage bed . ( I share insights to enjoying intimacy in marriage in Chapter 7 of If My Husband Would Change , I ’ d Be Happy ).
So , what ’ s the big deal if you decide to live with someone before you are married ? Let me share with you what I have observed in over 30 years of mentoring women :
If you claim to be a Christ follower , then you have at one point in time realized you are a sinner in need of God ’ s grace and forgiveness . If you repented and invited Jesus to be your Savior and Lord , then the Spirit of the Most High God indwells you — creating in you a new heart and giving you new life in Christ . ( If you want to know more about how to have a true relationship with Jesus contact me at NoRegrets- Woman . com , and I will send you an article to help you understand .)
1 Thessalonians 5:18 warns , “ Do not quench the Spirit .” So , what does that mean ? I believe it means that Christians are granted this incredible , supernatural filling with God ’ s Spirit to lead us and guide us to become the people God created us to be .
I believe choosing a spouse is more than just looking for a person to live with happily-ever-after . No , for Christians , we must not lose our perspective . God calls each of us to do what He has ordained for us to do before the foundations of this world ( see Ephesians 2:8-10 ).
When we are looking for a lifepartner , we should realize we are looking for a person who will help us live out God ’ s plan for our lives — together . Not to satisfy our own longings , but rather to find true passion and satisfaction with life , as God does through us exactly what He put us here to do .
All that to say , when you are walking in obedience to God ’ s commands , His Holy Spirit is your guide . That means God is the only one who can guide you to a spouse He knows would be the best life partner and ministry mate for you and the best father for your children .
When a person chooses to sleep with someone or live with them before they are married , that person cannot be lead by God ’ s Spirit to discern if the person they are with would be God ’ s best for them .
Does that make sense ? In short , God grants His children the leading of His Spirit to guide our hearts toward a spouse who will help us live the abundant life Christ has ordained for us . When a person is not Spirit led , they are making life long decisions without the leading of God ’ s Spirit . For many this means regretful consequences .
You talk about helping our husbands learn what makes us happy , and how to satisfy us . How important is it that both the husband and wife remain teachable , and open to learning about one another during their marriage ? What are some of the consequences of not doing so ? The Bible calls husbands to live with their wives according to knowledge . The problem is we don ’ t even know who we are every 28 days , so how are our husbands supposed to know what makes us tick ?
For the rest of your life you get to teach your husband what speaks love to you . When you were newly married , him remembering to wipe down the bathroom mirror after he splatters toothpaste on it says , “ I love you and respect how hard you work to keep the house clean .”
After a few kids come along , what speaks love to you may be your husband offering to clean up the dinner dishes while you take fifteen minutes alone in the shower so you can prepare yourself to enjoy your husband the rest of the evening .
When your husband sits in front of the television waiting for you to get all your work done so the