Faith Filled Family Magazine December 2016 | Page 8

However, there are families
whose members do not necessarily enjoy getting together with
the family at this time of year, or
any time of year. In fact, the very
idea for some brings about much
anxiety.
Troublesome Family Members

disallows them to really live their
lives to the fullest. They may or
may not have received the apology they feel they needed. However, instead of looking in the
mirror to see how they can adapt
and move forward, it is easier to
just blame others.

Family members with ill feelings
We may as well face it because toward other family members
this is where it needs to be said. bring tension and strife to famWe love our family members, but ily events. This is because they
some of them misbehave, peri- hold on to their past offenses
od. They make it very difficult for and hurt feelings as if they were
the family to enjoy being togeth- wounds that need tending to.
er. The reasons they act this way It seems that no matter the ocand seem to want to be difficult casion, these particular family
vary. It could be because of hurt members will find something to
feelings in their past. Maybe they start an argument about, or they
feel a sibling got more attention will find something to create
from their parent than they did, some chaos about. They are unor maybe they feel slighted in happy inside and want everyone
other ways. They may have re- else to be unhappy too.
sentment toward other siblings
because of a wrong they believe Why would people behave this
way? Why wouldn’t they just rewas done to them.
lax and enjoy the holiday with
It could be that the person who their family? After all, the holithey feel wronged them did not days only come around once a
apologize adequately, so they year. If they feel that unhappy,
never got over the hurt. People why even bother to show up?
sometimes do not apologize as Why not just stay at home and
sincerely as they could. When eat turkey at their own table inthey fail to do this in a heartfelt stead of traveling to another loway so that it is understood that cation, city, or state, just to make
they are sorry, it is harder to everyone else miserable? What
move on from the hurt feelings. is the payoff?
This makes it difficult for the person wronged to forgive. But that More importantly, why would the
is another topic for another time. person continue to blame everyone else for their unhappiness?
It sounds immature but people To me, that is the greatest tragreally carry around the baggage edy. Adults, full-grown individuof hurt feelings for years and als, pointing the finger at others
years. Things that happened 10, just like they did when they were
15, even 20 years ago are things a kid playing in the sandbox and
they carry around with them ev- the other kid would not share
erywhere they go – just like lug- their shovel and pale.
gage. This hinders them, and

No, we have to examine ourselves and see how we need
to change. Sometimes we get
hurt in this life, and sometimes
it is unwarranted. Yet, we can
learn from it, and grow through
it. Treating it this way can only
make us better. I am reminded of
the scripture that encourages us
to “lay aside every weight, and
the sin which doth so easily beset us,” found in Hebrews 12:1.
For it is not until we can truly
forgive and set aside hurts and
pain from the past, that we can
truly begin to live.
We can certainly pray ahead of
time and ask God to grant us the
strength as we encounter family members that are difficult.
Even during mealtime prayers,
we can request that God grace
the home with His presence
and grant peace in that place.
Then as followers of Christ, we
have the obligation to model that
peace to our family members –
no matter how challenging they
may be.
Last but not least, we can also
do some other practical things to
help us endure gatherings with
family members that are particularly difficult to be around.
We can set some boundaries for
ourselves. We can decide ahead
of time to stay only so long, and
then prepare to depart by a certain time. Having a set plan can
help you relax and enjoy the time
with family, but will give you an
“escape” when needed as well.
‘Tis the Season to be SAD?
Why are the holidays more
unhappy than happy for some
people? It could be because of